Understanding a narcissist’s behavior is like navigating a complex, confusing, and downright stressful maze. But when you stick to your guns, their responses can start to feel like clockwork.
Once a narcissist realizes they’re not going to be swayed, they’re likely to unleash a barrage of tactics to regain control. And let me tell you, being aware of these tactics can save you a lot of headaches.
In this article, I’ll reveal 10 maneuvers a narcissist will pull when they sense your resilience.
Are you ready? Let’s dive in.
1) They Use Manipulation
Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can feel like you’re treading on quicksand—the more you resist, the more they’ll react.
One common tactic narcissists use when they sense resistance is manipulation. It’s a manipulative strategy where they make you question your sanity and your sense of reality.
Manipulation can be subtle or overt, but it always serves the same purpose: to make the narcissist seem superior and keep you in a state of self-doubt. It’s a particularly vicious form of mental manipulation because it’s designed to make you more dependent on the narcissist, not less.
When you’re aware of this tactic, it can be much easier to recognize and resist. Remember, you’re not crazy—they’re just trying to make you think you are. Stand your ground and trust your instincts.
2) They Play the Victim
In my own life, I’ve seen this happen countless times. When a narcissist feels like they’re losing control, they play the victim.
Let me tell you about Jane, an old friend of mine. She was a complete narcissist. The moment she felt like I was pulling away from her, she went into victim mode.
Suddenly, all the conversations revolved around how unfair life was to her, with me being her supposed only ally. It was a blatant attempt to guilt-trip me into keeping me and to satisfy her never-ending need for attention.
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It’s crucial to recognize this tactic—it’s pure manipulation. It takes courage not to get sucked into their drama. Remember, you are not responsible for their happiness.
3) They resort to smear campaigns
Narcissists thrive on being the center of attention, and when that is threatened, they can become extremely vindictive. This often manifests itself in the form of smear campaigns.
A smear campaign is an attempt by a narcissist to discredit you, often by spreading lies or half-truths about you to others. This can range from telling friends and family that you are unstable, to making false claims about you at work.
Interestingly, researchers have found that people who engage in malicious gossip tend to have high levels of narcissism and a tendency toward social dominance.
Recognizing this tactic can help you effectively counter it and protect your reputation. It is important to always stand up for your position and not let their lies define your reality.
4) They Alternate Between Love Bombing and Devaluation
When narcissists feel their grip slipping, they change tactics to keep you off balance. This often means bouncing back and forth between love bombing and devaluation.
Love bombardment is when they shower you with compliments to get you back on board. It’s a charm offensive designed to lure you back into the trap.
But don’t be fooled. This kindness is often followed by devaluation, where they tear you down, leaving you feeling worthless. It’s a vicious cycle designed to keep you emotionally entangled.
Remember, your worth isn’t determined by your erratic behavior.
5) They Stir Jealousy
Narcissists crave attention and validation from more than one person. When they feel like you’re not giving them the attention they crave, they may resort to stirring up jealousy.
This might mean flirting with others in your presence, reminiscing about past relationships, or even inventing admirers out of thin air. Their goal? To leave you feeling insecure and rushing to get their affection.
The trick to dealing with this maneuver is to see it for what it is—a manipulation game. Instead of getting caught up in their drama, prioritize your own self-esteem and emotional health.
6) They Deny Your Reality
A narcissist’s world revolves around their own needs and desires. So, when you refuse to comply, they may deny your reality.
This is especially heartbreaking because it involves denying your feelings, your experiences, and even your identity. They may dismiss your feelings as overreactions, minimize your accomplishments, or downplay your experiences.
I’ve seen the hurt and confusion this can cause in many people’s lives. It’s as if the narcissist is trying to erase a part of who you are. But remember that your feelings are valid, your experiences are real, and you have a right to be heard and acknowledged.
It’s important to stand up for your truth in the face of such denial. Remember, their refusal to acknowledge your reality says a lot more about them than it does about you.
7) They Threaten or Intimidate
When a narcissist sees that their usual tactics aren’t working, they may resort to threats or intimidation. This can range from subtle emotional threats to outright physical threats.
I was once in a relationship where the moment I would express my boundaries or stand up for myself, my partner would become threatening. He would say things like, “You’ll regret this” or “You don’t want to see me angry.” This was his way of trying to regain control.
Keep in mind that no one has the right to intimidate you. Stick to your boundaries and ask for help if you feel unsafe. You deserve respect and kindness, not fear and intimidation.
8) They Become Overly Cooperative
This may seem surprising, but sometimes when a narcissist realizes that you won’t back down, they suddenly become overly cooperative. This isn’t a true change of heart but a calculated move to regain control.
They may start agreeing to everything you say, doing things they know you like, or making big promises about future behavior. It’s as if they suddenly become the perfect friend or partner.
However, this is often a temporary phase designed to lure you back into their network. Once they feel safe again, old patterns usually resurface.
9) They engage in stonewalling
When a narcissist realizes they can’t control you, they may resort to stonewalling. This is a manipulative tactic where they refuse to communicate or cooperate, effectively shutting down any attempts at discussion or resolution.
Stonewalling can take many forms—from ignoring your calls and texts to refusing to engage in conversation, to even physically distancing themselves from your presence. It’s their way of exerting control by withholding communication.
When confronted with stonewalling, it’s essential to maintain your composure and remind yourself that this is their problem, not yours. Your voice deserves to be heard.
10) They Question Your Sanity
In their quest to regain control, a narcissist may make you question your sanity. This is a form of manipulation, making you doubt your memory, your perception, and even your mental health.
They may insist that things didn’t happen the way you remember them, accuse you of overreacting, or suggest that you’re unstable. It’s a deeply disturbing tactic designed to undermine your self-confidence and make you more dependent on their version of reality.
Always trust your instincts. You know your truth. Don’t let anyone manipulate it.
Hold on to your truth.
Dealing with a narcissist can feel like navigating a maze—exhausting and confusing.
As we explore these 10 tactics, remember: It’s not about you. It’s all about the narcissist’s hunger for control and validation.
Whether they’re manipulating you, playing the victim, or spreading rumors, you have the power to fight back. Your reality is yours to hold on to.
As you move forward, trust your gut, honor your experiences, and prioritize your mental health. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help.
In the face of narcissists’ tricks, hold on to your truth – it is yours and no one else’s.
