exam time! Consider the following and answer true or false:
I often find myself drawn to the “bad boys,” the “jerks,” and the “players.”
I spend a lot of my time trying to make my boyfriend happy.
If I’m upset about something in my relationship, I often ignore my feelings to avoid conflict.
The men I date are bossy and controlling, and get angry when I don’t do what they want me to do.
I apologize even when I know I’m not wrong.
If my friend is angry with me, I can’t think about anything else until we resolve the argument.
I love how good it feels to make amends after a fight, like I’m having a fresh start.
My boyfriend and I have a cyclical relationship: things are going well, then suddenly he gets mad at me, I apologize and do everything I can to make it up to him, then we make up, and the whole cycle starts again.
My feelings of self-worth seem to fluctuate based on how my boyfriend treats me.
I know I should date a “nice guy,” but I’m afraid I’ll get bored without the excitement that comes from relationship drama.
Related: If He Does These 7 Shady (But Easy-To-Miss) Things, You’re In A Toxic Relationship
If you answered “true” to one or more of the above questions, you’re addicted to dating drama. In my experience as a dating coach, I have found that dramatic behavior in relationships is very common. The good news is that this addiction can be effectively eliminated by building your self-esteem. But that’s just the first step in this dating tip.
When your self-esteem and self-esteem are low, it’s natural to be attracted to (and attracted to) emotionally abusive types. The opposite is true when you feel good about who you are and truly believe that you deserve a loving, healthy relationship.
The problem with drama addicts is that once they meet a worthy partner, they don’t seem to fully enjoy the relationship.
In unhealthy relationships, it is common for drama addicts to be so focused on the happiness of others that they neglect their own needs. They have become so completely engrossed with his moods and feelings that they no longer have their feelings. They attach themselves to the emotional rollercoaster and continue on the ride.
Does any of this sound familiar? We can become addicted to such relationships because they are kind of like drugs
Related: How To Handle Toxic Relationships At Work (Without Getting Petty)
Sure, the lows are low (the insults, the anger, the fights), but the highs are high (the passion, the excitement, the romantic way he gets when you make up after a fight). We begin to endure the lows because we live the highs.
Although this may sound exciting, it is not healthy. With a history of relationships like this, it’s no wonder that stable, honest men who love us and would never dream of hurting us seem rather bland by comparison.
Well, guess what? You have to get over it because the good guys are where they are! Once you check your self-esteem, you’re halfway there. Once you believe that you are worthy of true love and respect, your other half will get used to how you feel.
Here are some things you can expect from a healthy relationship:
Unconditional love (you can’t “spoil” him or do anything to make him stop loving you) and accepting you for who you are.
No more having to jump through emotional hoops to get your needs met.
A true partnership of equals where you challenge each other, inspire each other, and give each other the freedom to grow as individuals.
Sounds great, doesn’t it? that it.
So what will help you get over that feeling that something is “missing” when there is no more emotional rollercoaster?
easy. It’s a matter of realizing that life has a lot of ups and downs without having to create drama in our romantic relationships. When we are part of that healthy partnership, we act as each other’s support system to help each other through life’s ups and downs.
The highs we experience are the joys that life brings — the perfect summer day, realizing our career goals, a baby being born — and our wonderful man is there to cheer us on. The lows we endure are inevitable — disappointments, setbacks, health challenges, losing a loved one — and our partner is there to hold us, console us, and help us get through them.
