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If you met a master manipulator, would you know about it?
Most people would say yes, but the truth is that the answer is contained in the question itself.
A truly ingenious manipulator will not show their hands and will tend to slip through the cracks. Even the most seasoned observer and behavior expert can miss the subtle signs that someone is not real and just wants to exploit or mislead.
This article will give you deeper insights into how to discover a master manipulator and see through psychological deception and emotional blackmail.
Let’s dive in!
1) guilt is yours
The main guideline of the manipulator is to make others think that something is wrong with them and doubt themselves.
One of the most effective ways to do this is to make others feel guilty or feel that they have somehow exceeded their limits.
Master manipulators will make people feel this way by pretending to be offended, pretending to be emotionally wronged, or pretending to be hurt, or traumatized in some way.
Whether they’re pretending to be turned on when they’re not actually or acting like you’re selfish or careless towards them, the basic tactic here is to make you feel like you did something wrong when you haven’t already.
2) playing the victim
One of the best ways to make someone feel guilty is to play the role of a victim, which is why master manipulators return to this tried-and-true tactic all the time.
By presenting themselves as the victim and focusing on the way life has treated them unfairly, they are making anyone who disagrees with them or stands up to them feel guilty or wrong.
The main manipulator often plays the role of the victim to act as if they are beyond reproach or any criticism of them is inherently unfair or a form of bullying.
This is not the case, of course.
3) low threats
Manipulators are not above threats and intimidation when they feel that it will be effective.
Whether it’s in the workplace, personal relationships, or any other area of life, the manipulator will try to get his way by making it clear that the benefits of doing what he wants outweigh the costs.
They will hint or even openly mention the consequences and negative reactions on their part if you do not do what they want and will scare you in this way.
4) play dumb
Another favorite tactic of brilliant manipulators is simply to play dumb.
By pretending not to understand what you are asking or what is required of them, they plunge into a negative situation and can stay with them in a selfish and exploitative frame of mind.
Manipulators often pretend not to understand the feelings or point of view of the person interacting with them.
They understand perfectly well but simply do not want to admit a mistake, do not want to change their approach or compensate for something they did.
5) sarcastic sarcasm
Sarcasm can be funny and very appropriate in certain situations, but it can also be an effective tool for a manipulative person.
By using ironic pieces at the right time, a manipulator can make you feel like the lowest form of dirt on the planet.
By using their words, loud expressions, and unfunny jokes that tell you to the core, manipulators move you into approval-seeking mode where your well-being begins to depend on their thumbs up or down.
RELATED:8 clever ways to show a master manipulator you won’t play their games
This is a very vulnerable position to be in, needless to say.
6) gaslighting
Gaslighting is a technique of making someone believe that their perceptions and experiences are not happening or that their perceptions and experiences are their fault.
It is a favorite tool of manipulators because it can be adapted to almost any situation and used against people who already have cracks in the armor of their self-esteem.
If you are one of those people who tend to doubt yourself, then you are the main target of a master manipulator.
That’s because this can easily fuel that cycle of self-work and make you question your basic perceptions and judgments about the world around you and the interactions you experience.
7) distortion and omission
Lies can be easy to spot especially when they are factually or blatantly untrue to your face.
But distorting the truth as well as deleting parts of the truth is much more effective. That is why taking the oath before the court requires the promise to tell the whole truth and not just some truth.
Master manipulators like to tell part of the truth but leave out the parts that are not conducive to their motives or desired results.
8) seduction and sexual instruments
Manipulators often use seduction and sexual attraction to their advantage.
By using their assets in an alluring way they will try to get you to stray away from your values intentions and goals.
Throw aside caution, they want you to bend to their will and come around for their purposes.
The name of the game is to get you to comply with their wishes instead of keeping your framework and sticking to yourself.
Seduction can do the trick in many cases, and manipulators know it.
9) hypocritical advice
Manipulators like to give advice that they don’t follow. The rule of the day is to do what I say not as I do.
The reason this is so effective is that the manipulator carves a place for themselves where they don’t follow their own rules but have authority over you by setting rules that you should follow.
Think of politicians and some corporate executives, for example. They can be very fond of making rules and making judgments that others have to obey and that they propose to themselves and their friends.
This is a fairly typical manipulative behavior, although that does not make it any less terrible or harmful when it affects you as a citizen, employee, partner, or human being.
10) silver tongue subtlety
The gift of gossip can be used to argue in front of the courtroom, correct inspirational narratives, or encourage people when they are at the bottom.
But it can also be used to manipulate and take advantage of people. The manipulator will use their gift with language and words to take advantage of others and have you feeling like you are going crazy.
In fact, in reality, you are just trying to defend your borders and basic rights.
However, by using their words and rhetorical skills to bend your perception of reality the manipulator makes you think down and war is peace before you realize what is happening.
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