Ever get the feeling that your partner is messing with your head?
As if they are always ready for something it always seems that you are the one who loses in whatever game they play.
Relationships are not a game, and mind games should be left out when you’re playing Sudoku on a long trip with someone you’re supposed to love!
If your partner is playing mind games with you, there will be signs.
Starting from the following 10:
1) they lie to you (and will never admit it)
Lying is probably one of the most obvious types of mind games that your partner will play with you. And they will do this for many reasons.
Although they may say that they lied “to protect you” or “because they care about you,” this is untrue. They lied to get what they wanted.
Say that they lied about how they cut their hands. They do this because they want you to think they are “strong” or “strong”.
Or if they lied about what they got up to on the weekend. They do this until she thinks hard about them and stays in the relationship.
Or if they lied about what happened at work that day. They do this because they want you to give them sympathy, love, and affection.
If you haven’t already collected, this is manipulative behavior.
2) they tell you that you imagine things
Also known as gas lighting!
When your partner tells you, “You’re making things up!”Or” you’re just imagining things!”After facing them, watch out.
This is a classic gaslighting behavior 100% manipulative mind game.
Gaslighting is especially harmful in relationships because it can erode your self-esteem over time. It can also make you dependent on your partner and doubt reality without him.
Which is bad everywhere!
3) They guilt trip you into doing things you don’t want to do
Say that your partner asks you to raise the house tonight. You are planning to go out to dinner with an old friend, so you say that you can not.
Instead of just accepting it, they try to feel guilty about going out with their friends. Although, of course, they go out with their friends too.
They may say, “I think I’ll just have to take the bus home in the middle of the night” or”I suppose I’ll have to pay for the odds of a taxi home instead”.
They are hidden guilt trips to try to make you change your mind.
Other, more extreme versions may look something like this:
“I can’t believe you’re going to go out with your friends and make me pay for a taxi home”.
(Ish).
4) they act sad to get what they want
This is somewhat similar to the feeling of guilt. But instead of being cruel, they cry or act like they are hurting badly to get what they want.
Let’s say you won’t meet on a Saturday night because you have to get up early the next morning to take your parents to the airport.
They tell you how sad they are about it and how depressed they are without you (which is a sign of codependency, by the way).
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They may start crying on the phone to you about how bad staying home on a Saturday night alone is for their mental health.
It worries you and you hate seeing them sad. So you end up agreeing to the plans, even though they will double your trip and leave you with less sleep in the morning.
And he, Of course, does not care about him. Because they acted sad just to get what they wanted from you, and they succeeded!
5) they run hot and cold with you
Another sign that your partner is playing mind games with you is if he is running hot and cold.
One minute she showers you with love and affection-and the next minute she does not want to get to know you!
Some people do this on purpose (more on this in the next point). But some people do not collude.
Your partner may be doing this because he has an avoidant attachment style. This means that they feel insecure and worried about their closeness to someone. So they withdrew to protect themselves.
For you, this comes as if they like you and want to be around you one minute – as if they want to be as far away from you as possible the next day.
And they can mess with your head-a great time.
6) they play hard to get
Once you’re in a relationship with someone, there shouldn’t be any reason to play hard to get.
Indeed, in my opinion, no one should play hard to get at all! If you like someone, just say it. Otherwise, what’s the point?
But anyway, when you are already dating, your partner should not act like he is not interested in you! If they are, then they are playing mind games.
It’s similar to how to run hot and cold with you. They act aloof and distant. They may not send text messages or call you for several days. They may even cancel all dates together (or book No dates at all!).
In my experience, people play hard to get so you obsess over them and shower them with affection.
Which is, 100%, manipulation.
7) they “gang up” on you
There are two ways your partner might do this.
They will do this by talking to other people and telling you what they said. Or they will do it by actually involving others in conversations with you (or should I say, against you).
Suppose you told your partner that you don’t want to do something in the bedroom.
They may say, “I’ve talked to my friends about this and they can’t believe you wouldn’t do it for me”. Or they may say, “Everyone agrees with me how bad it is that you won’t do it”.
Or if you’re out with their friends, they might bring that thing up and get them involved in point fighting against you.
This is not the behavior of a loving, caring, or thoughtful partner. It’s the behavior of someone playing mind games with you-trying to manipulate you to get what he wants!
8) they accuse you of cheating
This is another very popular mind game from a partner. It’s also an aberration at its best!
When your partner accuses you of cheating for no apparent reason, it may be because they are the ones cheating on you.
Or they may be insecure and have had a bad experience in the past…
But more often than not, they accuse you of this to keep you off their backs. Or just to throw you off their tail completely!
9) they leave you wanting more
I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes it’s nice to let go of someone who wants more from you!
But I think this rule only applies when you are dating or if everyone is happy with a little teasing.
When you are in a relationship, your partner should always be loving, caring, and passionate with you. And they should always want to spend time with you and do nice things with you.
It’s as if they told you, “I’d like to take you on a date to [a place], but I’ll save that for when we’ve been together longer”.
Or, “I was going to buy you flowers yesterday, but I thought I would wait until they have more beautiful flowers in stores”.
I learned the hard way that someone saying “will”,” want”, or “was about to” is not the same as what they do.
Actions speak louder than words, Unfortunately. So if all your partner does is talk about the nice things they would do for you, but they never do, that’s not good news.
They are playing mind games with you just to make you think that they are more invested in your relationship than they are.
10) they threaten to stop doing things for you
This is bad, bad, bad!
When your partner threatens you, it’s not a good thing. I can’t think of a single example of when it can be considered acceptable!
This means that your partner threatening you is outright manipulation-there is no doubt about it.
Take the example we used earlier about giving them a ride home. If you stay firm and say No, you can’t do it, they may say:
“If you don’t give me an elevator tonight, I’ll never give you an elevator again”.
This is a threat and manipulation. And trust me, it’s not something a loving partner would ever say!
Final thoughts
Loving, caring partners who genuinely care about you are not playing with your feelings. They care about you too much to do that!
I have dated many people who played mind games, especially in my teenage years and early twenties. I got to the point where I thought this behavior was normal. I also simply had to put up with them if I wanted a relationship!
But now, having met way, way better people, I know that these things are not normal – and you do not have to endure them.
If you recognize these behaviors in your partner, the relationship may not be as important to them as it is to you. And maybe something needs to be changed…
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