Narcissistic parents can have a negative impact on their children.
As children grow into adulthood, our parents are there to provide role models to enable us to develop into well-functioning human beings.
The problem occurs when these same parents have problems of their own.
Being the child of a narcissistic mother or father often means that the love and support you would expect from your parents is absent. Narcissists have little interest or empathy for anyone but themselves, and for a child, this can be extremely harmful.
We look to our parents for our sense of identity, self-esteem, and self-worth. Our parents build our confidence and allow us to go out into the world as a well-balanced person. If we are routinely ignored or humiliated by narcissistic parents during the most important developmental period of our lives, the long-term damage can be excruciating.
It is important to recognize the signs that your parents are narcissistic and then begin to unearth what this means for you as you get older.
This is difficult in the first place, since your parents have long instilled a sense of insecurity and self-doubt in you. But you’ll know you’ve had these feelings for your parents for a long time, and this probably isn’t the first article you’ve read on the subject.
Before you read about the signs that you were raised by narcissistic parents, you should understand that there are two types of narcissists:
Engulfing Narcissists
Abstaining narcissists see you as an extension of themselves, so any accomplishments you make will be automatic to them by default.
Ignore the narcissist
Ignoring narcissists don’t care about their children’s lives and care little about their development, focusing on themselves instead.
- They blackmail you emotionally
Narcissistic parents often play the guilt card, making it difficult for you to live an independent life. They often fall back on “I can’t cope without you”, “If you go, I won’t be here when you come back” and other forms of emotional blackmail. - They “fail” you.
Narcissists want total control and do so through a number of behavioral traits. One is to use guilt tripping, for example, they will often tell you how much they have given you up, it might be a promising career, a partner, another child, etc. - They withdraw love if you don’t do what they say
Parental love is unconditional, right? They are wrong if they are narcissistic parents. If you don’t do what your parents want, they will immediately withdraw all their love and support. Instead, they will treat you silently or punish you. - You are in constant competition with them
Anything you do, your parents do better, get the T-shirts, watch the movie. If you ever achieve something special, they will seek to take it from you, whether that be a person, an achievement, or a thing. - Your achievements are owned by your parents
If you accomplish anything, your parents will jump on it and own it. It will be their success, not yours. They’ll say you get it from them, whether it’s athletic prowess, or writing ability, or whatever. He will never be the center of attention for you. - I was constantly lied to as a child
Growing up you never knew what was real and what was made up as your parents lied to control and manipulate you, even when you were a little kid. I was there for fun, pleasure and their goals. - They showed no empathy as parents
Have you ever sat down and had a really good heart with your parents? Most of us have had it at some time, but not the children of narcissists. Talking to them about feelings was like chatting on a blank canvas or a brick wall, they weren’t interested unless it was about them.
- I was constantly insulted
If your parents were the type to constantly scold and humiliate you, they were likely narcissists. This is a scriptural trick to control and manipulate you. - They gaslighted you
Another textbook trick for narcissists is gaslighting, which takes its name from an old Hollywood movie where a husband tries to drive his wife crazy by turning off the gas lights in their home, without her knowing. The term is now used to describe any behavior that is intentionally used to make you doubt your sanity. - She blows out of proportion to any criticism
Narcissists are at their most dangerous when faced with the truth. At this moment they can turn into “killers”. If your parents turn mild-mannered mom or dad one minute, and then crazy raving the next, take care to hunker down.
