Have you ever met someone who was incredibly charming at first only to find out later that they were over the top?
The thing about a deceitful person is that they are hard to read. Their confidence and belief in themselves makes it hard to doubt them sometimes.
In reality, they are just wolves in (very disguised) lamb’s clothes. And many times, we don’t realize it until it’s too late.
So it’s best to keep our guard up when we have a hunch that something is off.
In this article, I will walk you through a list of 10 signs that someone has a cunning and manipulative personality. Let’s dig deeper!
1) She is very charming
When someone constantly compliments you, don’t give up right away. Sometimes, things are just too good to be true. Think about the underlying motives behind this.
Although the latter may be difficult to decipher in the case of a charming manipulator; They are very skilled in their craft. They can sense weaknesses in others, and they know how to use them to break down barriers.
Their goal is to make you trust them. Why? This is for you to decide. Take everything into consideration before you let someone into your life. Factor in context, background, body language, etc.
Of course, most of the time people are friendly. But for the casual partner, the abusive partner, or the snake oil salesman, you have to develop some kind of internal system for filtering out these people.
2) You caught them in a lie
Of course, no one is perfect. We have all expanded the truth at some point in our lives.
But if someone you know is habitually saying things that don’t add up, they may be prone to lying.
Some people can convince themselves that their lie is actually the truth, which is a very dangerous practice.
Think of the true crime documentary you watched on Netflix… you know, the one about a cult leader and his blind followers.
What are some of the things that all of these sectarian leaders have in common? Firstly, they are all very charismatic.
Second, they believe their lies with so much conviction that people start buying into them – until they finally wake up.
Don’t be a cult follower, when you catch someone lying or manipulating the truth, keep in mind that this is a huge red flag.
3) They have a lack of empathy
Here’s the thing: You may have mixed feelings about a manipulative person despite all the red flags because they’re “nice to me.”
Play it lightly, my friend, these are all surface level things.
Ask yourself, once the manipulator gets what he wants, does he maintain the same level of kindness toward you? If so, great. If not, you may have been played.
Note how they treat people they consider below them, such as restaurant staff. Do they have sympathy? If they are nice to you but treat the waiter or waitress like crap, they are not a nice person. Only cunning and manipulative.
4) They control and control
If the manipulator gets what they want, expect everything to be fine and dandy. But when things don’t go their way, the cracks will begin to surface.
When you act out of line in their eyes, they may resort to controlling behavior such as coercion or intimidation. They may even use psychological terror by using your weaknesses against you to get what they want.
It may take a while for their true colors to emerge, but when they do expect a lot of heartache and pain. Don’t let it get to this point. Run when you can!
5) They blame everyone but themselves
Sometimes, when a manipulative person screws up, they use all their willpower to avoid accountability and try to shift the blame.
Instead of admitting wrong, they will find an innocent scapegoat to be responsible for.
This is not only common in individuals account, it happens in governments as well.
Suppose there is a severe recession and that an incompetent and suspicious government is mostly to blame. Instead of taking responsibility, they may decide to look for an easy target to blame such as immigrants or other marginalized groups.
In this case, the audience is being manipulated. Immigrants are suffering, and the government can wash its hands of anything remotely resembling accountability. well played.
6) They are professional gas workers
We touched a little bit on control earlier. Gaslighting is one of the most accurate forms of control.
At its core, gaslighting is a form of control. A deceitful person uses this tactic to confuse you, to make you question your reality, and ultimately to undermine your sense of self-confidence.
If you suspect this is happening to you, don’t panic! Shake it like a dizzy spell.
Take a step back and trust what your gut tells you about someone with a history of manipulative tendencies. You got this!
7) They often feel guilty
Have you heard of the term “emotional blackmail”? Well, that’s basically guilt. The manipulative person understands that guilt is a weapon.
Some people may be more prone to feelings of guilt than others. So for those who are easily guilty, you should go the extra mile to protect yourself.
My ex used to feel guilty for me. I did this because I was going to fall in love with him so much.
Sometimes I would spend the weekend with my family instead of seeing them. She would respond to this perceived rage by throwing tantrums, saying she was suicidal, and threatening to drink a bottle of sleeping pills if I didn’t see her.
Like clockwork, I’d drop everything to fix the situation, and limit my time with family to spend time and take care of them.
It was only when we broke up that I realized I had been being manipulated for years.
She was an expert at playing the victim. This brings me to the next point…
8) They are professional victims
There you have it: some manipulators have real acting chops. They can put on some Oscar-level performances…at your expense.
Picture this: belittling a manipulative person daily with snide comments or subtle insults. Then the moment you react or speak out against the verbal abuse, they take the role of the innocent, harmless victim.
In fact, they can be so convincing that you are the one who ends up apologizing.
Like a bull that sees red, when a manipulator sees weakness, he will milk you for everything you have.
9) They try to isolate you from others
Real talk: Since manipulators desire total control, they don’t really want your other relationships to exist. They do not want others to sway or influence you away from them and their authoritarian ways.
They may isolate you from friends and family by talking about them until you finally buy into it. It’s not real, it’s all part of their plan to isolate you from outside contact.
Let’s go back to the sect leader’s example. Among the victims I have observed appear to have severed ties with their closest friends and family at the behest of the deceitful cult leaders.
This suggests that they have been sufficiently brainwashed, which is largely just a complex form of manipulation. Their loved ones are left deluded while the manipulator is very complacent.
10) Your work and relationships suffer
Unfortunately, once you are manipulated, it can be very harmful to your morale and self-worth. This is especially true when the manipulative person is close to you.
This can drain your energy and hinder your career, relationships, social life, and so on.
Don’t let them win by letting all your chances slip away from them. You owe it to yourself to control your life.
