I can’t give you just one reason why narcissists would accuse you of cheating and never believe you, when there are ten you can have for free!
They’re really something else, aren’t they? In a way, it’s almost funny to hear them accuse you of the same things they do almost every day.
We’re not perfect, but narcissists are on a whole other level of wrong.
This is just one way they treat you with contempt and shame you for trying to admit that you’ve done them wrong.
It’s time to understand why they do it.
Cheating? Really?…
I know. I hear you. It’s the last thing you’d do.
You have no business putting the person you love through all this pain and suffering just because of a temporary feeling you can’t seem to resist.
You don’t come from that kind of place. You’d rather be the honest, loyal, and faithful person you were raised to be.
Related : Why Narcissists Give Your Replacement Everything They Denied You
With values and morals that complement a loving relationship, not destroy it.
But… the narcissist is watching you, and they want to accuse you of cheating.
Dig deeper, and you might find these reasons…
1 To Make Sure You’re the Problem
Even though you’re not the problem, the narcissist wants to make sure you’re the one responsible.
And guess what they tell everyone?
You guessed it.
You’re the one causing the problems. You’re the conflicted one. You can’t help yourself. You don’t care who you hurt. You don’t care what you do.
2 Control
Control is the narcissist’s lifeblood. Without it, they don’t get what they want, and they can’t abuse you the way they do.
You’re never responsible for the actions of others, and that includes the narcissist.
Sometimes they use control to flatter you or force you into a relationship, but that’s not the case.
Related : 11 Reasons Why Narcissists Do ALL These Mean Things!
Instead, it’s how they control your narrative. When people assume you’re a good person and wouldn’t do anything to hurt the person you love (which is true), they’ll make sure everyone else thinks differently.
3 Are you jealous a lot?
Where are you going?
Who are you going with?
When are you coming back?
Why do you suddenly want to go there?
Why are you joining the gym?
Who will be there?
Why can’t I go with you?
Why are you so late?
Why can’t you look me in the eye?
When are you going to admit where you really are?
It’s a stressful set of questions, isn’t it? And all directed at you and that very innocent lunch or fitness class you went to.
It doesn’t mean anything, really, you’re just living your life. But for a narcissist, there has to be an underlying reason – and if it’s relevant – they’ll point you out as a cheat.
4 Insecurity
All narcissists are insecure. I repeat, all narcissists are insecure.
Their take on the truth of their insecurity will vary, but we all know that it’s because they’re overcompensating for what they want to hide from you.
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The extreme pride that prevents them from admitting that they often feel uncertain, or don’t believe in themselves or their abilities will only highlight a weakness.
A weakness they are keen to hide from you.
So they hand it over to you – the fraud. You have to be, because they don’t think you love them. This often comes across as angry, but it certainly holds the truth.
5 Projection
Listen, narcissists may be accusing you of the thing they are doing.
Projection is a common tactic in narcissism. Their feelings become your feelings. Their actions become your feelings. Even their thoughts become your thoughts.
It’s a way for them to distract you from what they are doing, and convince you that it’s not happening.
It also becomes a problem when you are the one making the accusations – and you know you are innocent!
6 Emotional Manipulation
Emotional manipulation is one of the most insidious ways to emotionally abuse someone—and it’s common among narcissists.
If they can make you doubt yourself, they will. They love watching you shake and tremble on the rocky foundations of your insecurity, because that’s where they love you more than anything else.
Related : 8 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Loving The Narcissist
You can be affected if you’re not rooted in your own reality, so if they accuse you of cheating, you may start to think that an innocent work-related phone call with a coworker was actually some kind of betrayal!
7 Playing the Victim
Whenever they get the chance to play the victim, narcissists will jump on board like it’s a five-star cruise.
They expect the sympathy they’ll get, the people they’ll gather around them, or as you and I know it:
people they can manipulate.
And you know what pisses me off?
It works!
People do this, and they unknowingly give narcissists exactly what they want:
Also see what narcissists do with your forgiveness
The victim card.
Related : 8 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Loving The Narcissist
If they accuse you of cheating, you can bet that the reason they do it is to get others to side with them and support them.
Narcissists form allies this way.
8 The Need to Sabotage
When things are going well, the narcissist has to put a stop to it somehow, right?
It sounds crazy to want to ruin a good thing, but narcissists are so ingrained in their low self-esteem that they actually need the attention that self-sabotage brings them.
Think of them as disorganized little kids trying to navigate the adult world, and you may begin to get a sense of the narcissist’s true personality.
9 Boundaries: Test, Test!
If you show a narcissist your boundaries, they will jump on them as soon as they can to try to break them.
I’m not kidding.
They will try to destroy it and force it to collapse if it means they are overtaking and using you.
Related : Why Do Narcissists Claim To Be Experts in Things They Know Nothing About?
What is yours is theirs, and your kind, honest, and patient attitude will be tested every time they accuse you of cheating and then refuse to believe you when you protest your innocence.
10 To avoid any responsibility
What else is going on in their life? What are they trying to avoid?
Sometimes, narcissists make the accusations against you so that they can free themselves from the other wrongs that are surrounding them at that moment.
Leave the pressure, and let go of the responsibility!
