Narcissists often make grand promises to charm or manipulate others, but these commitments are rarely fulfilled. Here are ten common promises that narcissists frequently break:
1. “I Will Change for You”
Narcissists often promise to change their behavior to keep someone in their life, especially if they sense that the person is about to leave. However, any change is usually short-lived or superficial. Once they feel secure again, they revert to their old habits because the promise was made to manipulate, not to genuinely improve.
2. “I’ll Always Be There for You”
While they may initially act like they’ll be a constant presence, narcissists tend to disappear or become unreliable when they aren’t the center of attention or don’t gain anything from being supportive. Their promise of unwavering support only lasts as long as it serves their interests.
3. “I Will Respect Your Boundaries”
Narcissists often agree to respect boundaries to appear accommodating, but in reality, they struggle with respecting limits because they view them as obstacles to control. Over time, they will find ways to push or ignore boundaries, often using guilt, manipulation, or charm.
4. “I’ll Be Honest With You”
Despite assurances of honesty, narcissists tend to lie frequently, often to avoid accountability or to manipulate situations to their advantage. They may make excuses or shift blame when caught in a lie, rather than owning up to their deceit.
5. “I’ll Stop Putting You Down”
When confronted about their critical or demeaning behavior, narcissists might promise to stop making hurtful comments. However, this change rarely lasts, and the criticism will likely resume, often disguised as “jokes” or “constructive feedback.”
6. “I’ll Listen to Your Needs”
Narcissists may claim to care about your needs, but in practice, they often dismiss or minimize them. Their focus remains on their own desires, and any acknowledgment of your needs is likely temporary and self-serving, used to keep you in the relationship.
Related : 10 Questions Narcissists Refuse To Answer
7. “I’m Committed to This Relationship”
A narcissist may say they’re committed, but they often fail to truly invest in the relationship. They may be unfaithful, emotionally distant, or treat the relationship as transactional rather than a genuine partnership. The promise of commitment is often a tool to maintain control, not a sincere intention.
8. “I’ll Support Your Goals”
While they might initially express enthusiasm about your ambitions, narcissists often undermine or sabotage your goals. They may become jealous of your success or dismiss your aspirations if they feel threatened by your independence.
9. “I’ll Never Hurt You Again”
If a narcissist apologizes after causing pain, it’s often because they feel pressured to do so, not because they genuinely regret their actions. The promise to avoid causing future harm is usually broken, as their behavior patterns remain unchanged.
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10. “You Can Trust Me”
Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, but narcissists are notorious for betraying trust. They may promise secrecy or loyalty only to turn around and gossip, manipulate, or break promises. Their assurances of trustworthiness are often empty words meant to gain your confidence while masking their true intentions.
Conclusion
Narcissists use promises as a way to manipulate and control, not as genuine commitments. Recognizing the empty nature of these promises can help you set boundaries and avoid being repeatedly hurt. It’s important to observe actions rather than rely on words when dealing with a narcissist, as their behavior often reveals their true intentions.
