Have you encountered people who are always on the negative side? They are the people who never admit when they are wrong and are quick to point fingers at others.
Dealing with these people can be a real pain! Research suggests that being in the company of these individuals can distort our social perceptions, leading us to believe others are engaging in similar behavior and promoting a more pessimistic outlook.
But did you know that you can often spot them just by listening to what they have to say? In this article, we’ll break down 10 common phrases these people love to use.
Knowing these phrases can help you handle these difficult situations better.
1) “It’s not my fault…”
One of the most common phrases you’ll hear from toxic people is, “It’s not my fault.”
No matter the situation or their involvement, they seem to have a knack for evading responsibility. They would rather blame someone or something else than admit they made a mistake.
This statement is a clear sign that they are not willing to acknowledge their role in the problem, let alone work on finding a solution.
2) “You are too sensitive…”
Toxic people often use the phrase “You’re too sensitive” to deflect blame and make the other person feel like they are the problem.
By doing this, they invalidate the other person’s feelings and make it seem as if their reaction or hurt is unjustified. This tactic shifts the focus from their actions to your reaction, subtly shifting the blame onto you.
3) “I was just kidding…”
Ah, the classic “I was just kidding.” I remember an old friend of mine would often make snarky comments, and when I expressed how hurt I felt, she would brush it off and say, “I was just kidding.”
This phrase is a classic tactic used by toxic people to shift blame. They say something hurtful or offensive and then play it as a joke. If you react or get hurt, they make it seem like you’re overreacting or can’t take a joke. It is a sneaky way for them to avoid responsibility for their words and actions.
4) “Everyone does it…”
“Everyone does it” is a phrase often used to justify inappropriate behavior and shift blame.
An interesting fact is that this is a psychological phenomenon known as the “bandwagon effect,” where people often do or believe things because many other people do or believe the same thing.
Toxic individuals use this to their advantage, shifting responsibility away from themselves to “everyone else.” They are effectively saying: “It’s not my fault, I’m just doing what everyone else is doing.” It’s a sneaky way to avoid accountability.
5) “If you don’t…”
The phrase “If you hadn’t…” is a hallmark of toxic people who blame others. It’s a hurtful phrase that can make you question your actions and feel guilty, even when it’s not your fault.
They use your actions as an excuse for their inappropriate reaction or behavior. It’s as if they’re saying, “I wouldn’t have behaved this way if you hadn’t done that.” It’s a heartbreaking way to manipulate the situation to make you feel responsible for their actions.
6) “You always…” or “You never…”
I have personally come across this phrase a lot – “You always…” or “You never…”. Toxic people often use these statements to play the blame game.
I remember a former colleague who would constantly say, “You never listen to my ideas” every time we disagreed. This kind of language is not only accusatory but also absolutist, leaving no room for discussion.
By using “always” and “never,” they generalize one situation into a pattern, trying to shift the blame onto you and away from them.
7) “I didn’t mean to…”
Let’s be real here for a second — “I didn’t mean it” is a classic move in the blame-trading playbook for toxic individuals. They use it as a get-out-of-jail-free card for their actions, as if not intending to cause harm justifies the harm done.
But the truth is that intention does not erase impact. He may forget the axe, but the tree will always remember.
Even if they didn’t mean to hurt or offend, it doesn’t change the fact that they did. It’s an obvious truth that we often ignore: even unintended hurt can still hurt us. This statement is their way of evading accountability and making you feel like you are overreacting.
8) “It was just a mistake…”
When someone says, “It was just a mistake,” pay attention! It’s a classic move by these professionals to evade blame. Instead of admitting what they did, they make it look like a little flower.
By calling it a mistake, they belittle it and make it seem like everyone is exaggerating things. It is their trick to avoid consequences and avoid any deep self-reflection.
9) “I don’t remember that…”
“I don’t remember that” is a phrase that hits close to home. I’ve met people who don’t easily remember when they said or did something hurtful.
This selective memory acts as a shield for them, allowing them to avoid responsibility for their actions simply by feigning ignorance.
It’s frustrating and hurtful, especially when you feel like the bad person who brought it up. It’s a classic blame-shifting tactic that makes you question your memory and feelings.
10) “You made me do it…”
“You made me do it” is one of the most toxic forms of blame-shifting. It’s not just about shirking responsibility; It’s about making you feel directly responsible for your actions.
It is as if they have no control over their behavior and that you, in one way or another, are driving their actions. It’s a cruel and manipulative tactic that can make you feel guilty and apologetic for something that’s not your fault.
Own it, don’t change it: Blame shifting is not a winning game
In conclusion, recognizing the phrases toxic individuals use to shift blame is an essential step toward developing healthier relationships and promoting a more positive environment.
By becoming aware of these manipulative tactics, we empower ourselves to set boundaries and protect our well-being. Remember, healthy relationships thrive on open communication, accountability, and mutual respect.
