Have you ever met those people who always seem to take the blame and deny any wrongdoing?
Yes, you guessed it right – we are talking about narcissists.
Now, let’s be clear. Not everyone who shirks responsibility is a narcissist. But there’s a kind of narcissism that comes with a heavy dose of blaming others.
This can manifest itself in your relationships or even at work and can be a headache.
In this article, I will unveil 10 typical statements that narcissists use to shift blame.
These are not just ordinary excuses. These are their underhanded ways of evading responsibility while making you feel like you dropped the ball. Let’s get started.
- “I am not to blame; You.”
The classic Switcheroo game – the cornerstone of the narcissist’s blame game.
This phrase is a quick and direct way for them to deny any wrongdoing and shift the blame onto you. It’s as simple as reversing the roles, making you the perpetrator while they play the innocent victim.
This tactic is often used to create confusion and make you question your actions, even when you have done nothing wrong.
Be alert to this phrase; It’s a red flag that you’re dealing with a blame-shifting narcissist.
- “You’re too sensitive.”
Another classic, people. Narcissists often use this phrase when they do something that upsets you.
Instead of acknowledging their actions and apologizing, they will turn it around and accuse you of being overly emotional or sensitive.
Remember that it’s okay to feel upset when someone treats you poorly. Their attempt to invalidate your feelings is just another way to escape responsibility for their actions. Don’t fall for it!
This can manifest itself in your relationships or even at work and can be a headache.
In this article, I will unveil 10 typical statements that narcissists use to shift blame.
These are not just ordinary excuses. These are their underhanded ways of evading responsibility while making you feel like you dropped the ball. Let’s get started.
- “I am not to blame; You.”
The classic Switcheroo game – the cornerstone of the narcissist’s blame game.
This phrase is a quick and direct way for them to deny any wrongdoing and shift the blame onto you. It’s as simple as reversing the roles, making you the perpetrator while they play the innocent victim.
This tactic is often used to create confusion and make you question your actions, even when you have done nothing wrong.
Be alert to this phrase; It’s a red flag that you’re dealing with a blame-shifting narcissist.
- “You’re too sensitive.”
Another classic, people. Narcissists often use this phrase when they do something that upsets you.
Instead of acknowledging their actions and apologizing, they will turn it around and accuse you of being overly emotional or sensitive.
Remember that it’s okay to feel upset when someone treats you poorly. Their attempt to invalidate your feelings is just another way to escape responsibility for their actions. Don’t fall for it!
- “I never said that.”
Boy, this reminds me of a personal experience I had with a narcissistic friend.
We disagreed with something fairly trivial, and she said some very hurtful things. When I confronted her about it later, she completely denied ever saying it. It was her way of avoiding responsibility for her words and making me feel like I was making things up. It’s a classic gaslighting technique used by narcissists to make you doubt your memory and perception.
If you’re ever in a similar situation, trust your gut – you won’t go crazy!
- “Everyone agrees with me.”
This is a very difficult tactic that narcissists often use, which is rallying the troops. They use this phrase to isolate you and make you feel like you are in the minority, even if that is not the case.
Here’s an interesting fact: This method is known in psychology as “coping”, where a person tries to convince others that his or her point of view is correct because it is the popular opinion.
The truth is that they probably didn’t consult anyone else at all. It’s just a scare tactic designed to make you doubt your position.
- “If you would only listen.”
This phrase is the narcissist’s way of indicating that you are the problem, not them. It’s a subtle but painful shift in blame. They’re saying that if I had listened better or been more understanding, they wouldn’t have behaved the way they did.
It is important to remember that everyone has the right to express their feelings and opinions. You are not responsible for another person’s negative behavior, no matter how well you listen or understand them.
- “You’re just overreacting.”
Ah, this brings me back. I had an experience with a colleague who always evaded blame by accusing me of overreacting. If I brought up an issue related to our project, he immediately dismissed my concerns as overreaction, rather than addressing the issue.
His tactic was to avoid taking responsibility for any mistakes or problems.
If this sounds familiar, remember that it’s okay to express concerns or dissatisfaction. You’re not overreacting, they’re not responding enough.
- “It’s just a joke.”
This stings. a lot.
Narcissists often hide hurtful comments or criticism behind a veil of humor. After making a snarky remark, they may dismiss it as “just a joke.” It’s a way for them to say hurtful things and get away with it while making you look nervous if you get upset.
Here’s the truth: if it hurts, it’s no joke. You don’t lack a sense of humor. They lack empathy and respect.
- “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Narcissists use this phrase to belittle your feelings and make you doubt your response. By minimizing the problem, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
This tactic is called “minimizing” in psychological terms. It’s a kind of deception that downplays the importance of what you say or feel.
Remember that your feelings are valid, and if something is important to you, it is important. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!
- “You always remember the wrong things.”
This phrase hits close to home.
I once had a friend who was always twisting facts to fit her narrative. Whenever we argued about past events, she would accuse me of misremembering things. It was her way of rewriting history to make herself look better and blame me.
This is a form of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic used to make people question their memory and perception.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, trust your memory and stand your ground. You’re not forgetful or wrong, they’re just trying to manipulate you!
- “I was just trying to help.”
This is a real kicker. Narcissists often use this phrase as a cover when they overstep boundaries or give unsolicited advice.
By claiming that they were “just trying to help,” they can avoid taking responsibility for their intrusive or inappropriate behavior.
Let’s be very honest here: If their “help” sounds more like criticism, control, or disrespect, it’s not help. It is a violation of your independence and personal space.
Be firm, and do not allow them to use the guise of help to pressure you or belittle you.
