Narcissistic abuse is still alive and kicking in one in five relationships right now. That’s a scary number, isn’t it?

Knowing that you probably know someone who has had to deal with their partner’s toxic treatment is a very real thing to deal with.

So what do you think of when you hear the words narcissistic abuse?

Hitting? Yelling? Well, that can include those horrible aspects – but it goes much deeper.

I want to show you exactly how deep this misery runs, with 10 perfect examples of narcissistic abuse.

Narcissistic Abuse Is Still Abuse

I know it may not seem like it – but when you unpack all the different forms of abuse and put them together – that’s exactly what narcissistic abuse looks like.

Sexual, physical, emotional, mental, financial neglect – all of these factors contribute to living with a narcissist, and they can have a devastating impact on their victims over the years.

As you read through these examples, I want you to feel if they’ve ever interacted with you or interacted with you.

It’s never too late to seek help, and it’s never too late to start over.

10 Perfect Examples of Narcissistic Abuse

1 Silence

I know many survivors of narcissistic abuse who admit that one of the worst parts of the abuse was when they received the silent treatment.

It’s really very damaging, and it’s done in a way that creates absolute fear and terror in the person receiving it.

The silent treatment happens whenever the narcissist feels like it, and what does that do to the victim?

It makes them feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells.

They wait for the mood to shift.

They dwell on why it happened.

They blame themselves.

They feel guilty, because they know they “caused it.”

And what do narcissists think/do?

Well, they love it! Why wouldn’t they? Every time they ignore you, they watch you squirm and rage.

They take away your good days, and replace them with bad days.

2 Emotional Manipulation

Life can become unfair and unjust very quickly when narcissists distort your reality.

In a clear attempt to manipulate your mind and change your reality, they will not hesitate to manipulate you.

This can be done in a variety of ways, and I want to show you several ways now.

Emotional Manipulation:

Your memory can be questioned. The narcissist wants you to remember an event or conversation their way, so they will erase your memory of it by calling you forgetful, or telling you that it “didn’t happen that way.” You quickly agree because you trust them wrongly.

Narcissists themselves may be confused about what you say or do, in an attempt to raise doubt in yourself. This is what happens, and you almost apologize for making them feel that way (and well, they get what they want!)

They refuse to listen to you, making you believe that what you are saying is actually wrong. You agree with their opinion or idea instead, because it’s much easier than fighting for your own opinion or lived experience.

They deny knowing what you’re talking about, even if it’s something innocent. They see that you’re excited or enthusiastic, and they want to get that feeling out of you as quickly as possible. And the only way to do that is to crush you.

Narcissists can tell you that you’re being overly sensitive. You’re overreacting, and you’re intentionally trying to confuse them. This blame is unrealistic, but it works, as the victim backs down.

3 Criticism

All narcissists criticize wherever they can, and they’ll say any mean thing they can think of just to put you down a little.

Do you deserve it? No! You don’t deserve any kind of abuse, but you mostly don’t deserve to be treated in a way that completely destroys you out of nowhere.

Whether it’s the way you look, what you say, what you like, who you choose to spend time with, what your hobbies are, or what your job is – a narcissist will find a way to make fun of it.

4 “I was just kidding”

Hey, narcissist, stop with the lame excuses for why you’re a terrible person!

Jokes are supposed to be fun and enjoyed by everyone. When you make someone the butt of a joke, they’re no longer a joke.

It’s a way for a narcissist to get away with being unkind and disguise it as humor.

It’s not.

5 “You don’t need them”

Keeping you away from the people you care about in the hopes that it will leave you isolated from your support system is a big red flag – and a sign of narcissistic abuse.

Narcissists want you to be alone, so any way they treat you can be yours to deal with on your own.

If this sounds alarming, that’s because it is.

6 Anger

We all get upset from time to time, but being intentionally angry at someone else is terrifying, unnecessary, and unpleasant.

Being so angry that you explode, knowing that you’ll upset that person is toxic. Narcissists do this to get a reaction, and that reaction is fear.

Anger comes from an inability to process emotions properly, and a desire to intimidate the people you claim to love or care about.

7 You’re Hot and Then You’re Cold

I hear all victims of narcissistic abuse say, which mood will it be today?

The truth is, you’ll never know. The narcissist won’t tell you what mood they’ll be in. It’s up to you to tread carefully to find out.

8 Love/Sex Bombing

While male narcissists tend to love bombard their victims, female narcissists prefer to use sex as a weapon of seduction for their victims.

Sex traps victims – and creates attachment bonds that are difficult to break.

As much as they love it, it’s just an act.

9 Guilt

Narcissists will use any means possible to make you feel guilty. If you say something they consider out of the ordinary or insensitive (what an irony…), they will make you feel bad about it.

If you accuse them of anything, or complain about them being late, they will repeat the same phrase: “I work so hard to put food on the table, no wonder I have to work all the hours I can.”

If you forget an important event or meeting, they won’t hesitate to remind you. And if you do the same, they will make you feel bad by simply suggesting that they owe you an apology.

Narcissists love guilt. This means they can take out all their inner self-loathing on you, and watch you fall apart as a result.

10 It’s All in a Cycle

If I could describe the cycle of narcissistic abuse in a few words, it would be:

I love you, you’re annoying, I’m done with this, I’ve changed.

This is the cycle that goes round and round and round, and like a sock caught in a washing machine, you get stuck.

This is why we hear so often about people who “can’t leave,” or “don’t know how to leave.”

The abuse is all about indecision—and only you can change that.