A dysfunctional relationship comes in many different forms. You may endure toxic experiences with intimate partners, friends, or even your own family. What lessons should we learn from this?

The goal, of course, is for you to have healthy relationships in all areas of life. Unfortunately, this is not always possible. You might be in the middle of a dysfunctional relationship and never know it.

Sometimes, it can be hard to see the signs of toxic behavior, so you may think that this dysfunctional behavior is normal.

An unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship might look like this:

Hostility may be present. One partner may quarrel with the other.
There will be control issues.
One partner will depend on the other for basic needs.
There may be cases of physical or sexual violence.
Intimidation is a common factor in toxic relationships
Disrespect exists.
Another common factor is dishonesty.

Lessons you learn from dysfunctional situations

If you’ve already recognized unhealthy behavior in your relationship, you’re on the way to making changes. And because of ineffective behavior, you may have learned many facts about life and society.

Here are some lessons learned from these dysfunctional relationships.

1. Relationships between two people, not one
   Did you know that relationships grow from the establishment of two or more people, not just one? What I mean by this is that one person should not be doing all the work to keep the friendship/partnership alive.

Learning this lesson will help you in the future by giving you the strength to speak up. Let your boyfriend or partner know that you won’t be doing all the work in the relationship. With that being said, you can avoid another dysfunctional situation.

2. Boundaries matter
   Being in a dysfunctional relationship will teach you the importance of boundaries. While in an unhealthy situation, you may notice that your partner does not respect your space.

You may also experience times when they don’t care about your privacy. They may even push your boundaries in terms of your standards and morals.

When you come out of this union, you will see the truth clearly and understand the importance of healthy boundaries.

3. It’s okay to leave
   Another lesson from being in an unhealthy relationship is that it’s okay to leave. If you’re unhappy most of the time or your friends are constantly making you angry, it’s okay to think about finding new friends.

This is especially true if your friendship seems one-sided. If you’re being disrespected, that’s an even better reason to think about moving on.

4. Notice the red flags
   Reg flags are indicators of future toxic behavior or an exacerbation of current toxic behavior. And yes, the red flags are real. It is important to pay attention to these indicators because they can prevent you from being abused, unhappy, and wasting time.

As you go through a dysfunctional relationship and live to see another day, you will learn to be more sensitive to red flags. Some red flags may include:

Love bombing
selfish behavior
deception
Disrespect
Insolence to others

5. Listen to others
   Your parents and friends probably don’t know all that is good for you. And they probably aren’t experts on your relationship. However, sometimes your loved ones may see toxic behavior in your relationship much sooner than you do.

Learning to listen to other opinions about your relationship can be helpful. Although you don’t have to do everything your parents or friends tell you to do, it pays to see the change with their own eyes.

6. Watch your gut
   Sometimes your gut feeling isn’t right, but honestly, most of the time, your intuition knows things before you do them. Listening to your intuition, when it comes to your relationship, can be a smart move.

When you’re surviving a dysfunctional relationship, you may want to pay more attention to what your intuition is telling you.

7. Understand your worth
   Toxic relationships will reveal something extraordinary about you – you are always worth it. Many relationships, whether they are between family or friends or with an intimate partner, will involve physical or emotional abuse.

And when this happens, your self-esteem can drop. Therefore, when you leave the dysfunctional situation, you will learn to find your self-worth again, and you will realize that you are beautiful.

8. You can’t change people
   You entered into relationships seeing the other person as a project. I thought I could change it. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen, and I was miserable.

You can’t change anyone. Repeat. You can’t change anyone.

Now that you understand, you can try your next relationship with someone completely different than you used to. Remember, change only comes to those who are ready. If someone doesn’t want to change, you can’t do it for them.

9. Put yourself first
   Yes, I said it. And I don’t mean to be selfish. What I mean is that you should stop sacrificing everything you want to please someone else.

The truth is, you will quickly learn this after leaving a dysfunctional relationship. After all, is said and done, you will notice how deprived you are of basic self-respect.

10. Learn to forgive
    After an unhealthy relationship ends, you will learn how to forgive others and yourself. Now, this does not mean going back to the dysfunctional relationship. It just means being able to do what’s best for your mental health, and that’s total forgiveness.