Do you feel like some people are actively trying to get you angry?
It sounds like they want to start a fight with you. They may even try to provoke you into saying something you’ll regret later.
If you suspect that someone is intentionally trying to upset or annoy you, there are things you can do.
Here are 10 ways to tell if someone is trying to get you angry.
1) Low-key hitting
You’re trying to take the high road, but they insist on playing dirty.
They understand what’s really bothering you and what’s really upsetting you and they’re doing it on purpose.
It could be a passive-aggressive comment or an outright insult. If you feel like you’re being attacked, you’re probably being attacked.
They’re not just being rude; they’re trying to get you to react in a way that’s going to get you in trouble and you know it.
These are the low-key comments that, no matter how “innocent” they may be, are said intentionally to try to hurt others.
2) They make fun of you
So-called humor can be a toxic way to try to provoke others while disguising it as “just a joke.”
Jokes that are at your expense or hit you in a painful spot can make you feel embarrassed or ridiculed.
You may have been made to feel small because of a certain trait or characteristic.
Bullyers often use this type of behavior because they are insecure about their shortcomings.
There is a big difference between laughing with someone and laughing at them.
When someone is trying to provoke you, you will feel that the joke is directed at you.
Sarcasm is another form of humor that uses sarcasm to make fun of something.
But if you think someone is using sarcasm to try to hurt you, they may be trying to provoke you.
3) They are trying to make you feel guilty
Ultimately, trying to push someone’s buttons is manipulation.
They want to play with your emotions in an attempt to gain control of the situation. But the anger they are trying to get out of you is not always anger or annoyance.
Sometimes they’re trying to make you feel bad so they can get their way.
The button they want to push is the one that triggers guilt in you.
Guilt makes you feel responsible for other people’s feelings. It makes you want to apologize when you don’t mean to. It makes you want to give in when you don’t want to.
You’ve probably heard this before: “I don’t know why I bother talking to you.”
With this statement, their resentment is meant to make you feel bad about the situation.
4) They’re playing dumb
If you’ve criticized rude, harsh, abusive, or downright annoying behavior and they “don’t know what you’re talking about,” chances are they’re trying to get you angry.
Denial and sarcasm are often a way to try to control the other person, shift the blame, and make them angry.
They know that if they don’t admit it, you’ll just go around in circles.
When it’s clear that something is wrong, but they deny it, or when they say untrue things — these are all ways to get you angry.
5) They won’t let the sore points drop
They keep repeating themselves or randomly bringing up old arguments from ages ago. And they won’t let them drop.
It’s like they’re looking for an excuse for the feelings they have now. But in the absence of anything new, they’re looking for any excuse to vent their frustration.
RELATED:10 warning signs someone is an unreliable person (and you can’t trust them)
They’re trying to convince you that you’re wrong. That you’re being unreasonable. That you’re not seeing things. And they won’t stop until you agree with what they’re saying.
You still feel like they’re trying to provoke you because they’re scoring points.
6) They ask insulting, rude, or overly personal questions
This is a classic example of provoking you.
The person asking these questions wants to provoke you into saying something inappropriate.
They’re trying to get you to lose your cool. To say something you shouldn’t. Or they might ask you to do something you don’t want to do.
It could also be a way to see how much they can provoke you. They might just be testing your boundaries.
There are unwritten rules of conduct for how we all behave in society. When someone starts asking you questions that don’t quite make sense to them, you’re bound to hit a button or two.
7) They’re Ignoring
Ignoring behavior can be very motivating for us because it threatens our ego’s need for validation.
This can come in many subtle (or not-so-subtle) forms.
Someone might ignore your feelings, thoughts, opinions, and ideas.
They might belittle and disparage your beliefs. They might interrupt you when you’re talking. They might ignore you when you’re talking.
When you say something, they might respond with a sarcastic “whatever” or tell you to “be quiet.”
There are many ways that people can talk down to you. By trying to undermine your sense of self-esteem, they are trying to provoke you.
8) Talking down to you
One of the most common ways to provoke someone is to talk down to someone.
If someone talks down to you, it almost feels like they are telling you that you are stupid, ignorant, or inferior.
So, it comes across as an insult. It is an attempt to make you feel bad about yourself.
They may talk down to you in a condescending or patronizing manner.
They may try to invalidate you or your ideas or opinions by telling you that you are wrong.
This could be a comment like, “Don’t worry about it, you won’t understand.” They may even make fun of or even laugh at something you say.
No one likes to be talked down to, we all want to be treated equally, so it is a surefire way to provoke anyone.
9) They use confidential information against you
The people who know us best and love us the most are often as capable of pressuring us as anyone else.
Classic examples are our family members or our partners.
They know everything about us. They know our weaknesses. They understand our insecurities.
They know all the ways to trigger us best, so they use them. In short, they know what makes you feel bad better than anyone else.
When they use this confidential information against us, it is to hit us where it hurts and pressures us.
10) They are passive-aggressive
No matter what it looks like, passive-aggressive behavior is always about venting frustration on someone.
They can’t find a way inside themselves to get out and address the real problem, but they can’t let it go either.
So instead, they find small, annoying ways to get back at you.
They may not confront you directly, but they try to undermine you through indirect means.
For example, they may criticize you behind your back. Or they may give you the silent treatment.
They may act as if nothing happened, then suddenly start behaving differently toward you.
In any case, passive aggression is always about getting back at someone. And it’s usually done indirectly in an attempt to make you angry.
