Before you roll out the red carpet and start a new chapter in your life, stop.

Roll the carpet back up.

I can guarantee you that you haven’t read the 10 most dangerous mistakes people make when they leave a narcissist.

How you leave them is as important as the fact that you leave them.

As you read on, you’ll get a good idea of ​​these mistakes, and how you should make just one.

Congratulations!

You’ve left a narcissist!

It’s so good to feel free! The chains are gone, and you’re no longer under the influence of their misery and control.

The air is no longer filled with toxicity, and the future looks bright.

You can’t wait for what comes next, and you’re starting to feel like you truly deserve some long-awaited happiness.

Related : WARNING: 6 Ways Narcissists Use Your Medical Information

How Long Will You Like Happy?

Well, it all depends on what comes next.

As you can see, despite how innocent it may seem, it’s possible to make some terrible mistakes when you break up with a narcissist.

It may be that you want a fresh start, but if you slip up, things can get very disastrous.

Don’t Expect a Rose-Golden Future Now…

A rosy future is only possible when you firmly set your boundaries and refuse to engage in any games the narcissist may play with you.

When you are handed these 10 mistakes, you know that the narcissist is not done with you yet.

1 Oversharing with the Wrong People

If you reveal certain information to the wrong people – you better be prepared to take responsibility.

Narcissists will hear what you say about them if you tell everything to those you can’t trust.

Narcissists are keen to have connections everywhere for this very reason – you need to be careful when choosing your circle of trust.

Related : 7 Bizarre Ways Narcissists Act Around Pregnant Women

All it takes is one person to tell the narcissist that you are talking about or accusing them, and they will respond with toxic force.

2 Beware of Smear Campaigns

Smear campaigns are unfortunately inevitable in breakups with narcissists. They will talk bad about you to a certain number of people.

I always give the following advice when it comes to smear campaigns:

You have to decide whether the people the narcissist is talking about are more important than your mental, physical, and emotional health. Living to protest your innocence will only make you look more guilty, and it will drain your energy to the point of emptiness.

Don’t try to prove it to anyone with your words. People will listen to you and think it’s your word against the narcissist’s. And while that may be the case, you know the truth. This is where you can prove your innocence with your actions. Keep being good. Keep living your life. Be authentic and kind, and succeed. Smear campaigns can’t continue if you contradict everything the narcissist is posting about you if your actions are good.

If you lose people along the way, accept it. It proves that they are easily led, and that they never credited you as much as you thought they did in the first place.

Smear campaigns hurt. It shouldn’t be the thing that’s holding you back from moving on.

3 Answer Their Calls

If the phone rings, let it.

Don’t answer a single call once you break up.

Leaving them means leaving them.

Related : NEVER Let A Narcissist Know These Things About Your Childhood

And yes, they’ll want to tell you that you left your REM shirt at their apartment.

You love this shirt. Don’t you want to come and get it? Can I deliver it to you?

No! Give it up if it means you keep your dignity and boundaries intact!

Besides – you can always buy another shirt…

4 Give Them New Information

Oh, I don’t work in the office anymore. I got a job across town on 19th and 2nd.

What did I just do?!

Now they know your new coordinates, and they’re going to make the most of them.

There’s nothing you can do now. It’s too late.

But if you can get to them in time, any new information you get from your new life without them…

Don’t. Share. Any. Of. It.

5 Hang Out At Your Old Places

Don’t go to the bar you met at.

Don’t sit in the movie theater you used to go to every Saturday.

Find a new Trader Joe’s.

Related : 20 Affirmations For Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

I don’t care what you do, staying in the same old places you used to go will only end in disaster for you when they inevitably show up and want to come back.

6 Telling Them You’ll Always Love Them

If you give them this information, they’ll use it as a magnet to draw you back.

Knowing that you’re still emotionally attached gives the narcissist permission to control you. And if you love them, it’ll be easier to gain that control.

It’s time to get tough on yourself.

Love in silence, but continue out loud.

7 Invite Them for a Sympathy Drink

No! It’s over between you! No one needs to drink together again.

Think back at everything you’ve been through with them. To hell and back a thousand times.

Was that huge wine worth it?

Also – never feel sorry for them. They’ll try to take it away from you, but there’s no reason for you to feel bad.

Move on with your life. They created all this themselves.

8 Waiting Until the Breakup to Get Your Stuff

If you plan on leaving the narcissist, you need to make sure you have all of your stuff before you let go.

Don’t wait until the 59th minute to grab everything you hold dear in their current possession, because you’re unlikely to get any of it back.

Related : Things Narcissists Will Never Tell You About Their Fears

If you don’t, they will use it all against you (and yes, I’m talking about that REM shirt again!)

9 Leaving Documents or Identity in Their Possession

This is a serious matter that I need you to abide by.

Don’t leave any important identification or documents in the hands of the narcissist.

They can and will keep them. They will ask you to prove that they have them, and you will of course not be able to do that.

These are the documents you will need, especially if you need to set up a new bank account, register with a new landlord… or worse… run away.

Related : What Really Makes A Narcissist Panic Inside

Keep them all in your mind at all times.

10 Don’t Terminate Contracts with Them First

Sign what you can (if possible, don’t sign with them at all).

If you are still tied up with something, it could be a case of the narcissist trying to trick you into believing that you owe money somewhere, or that you need to pay a bill.

Avoid this entirely by separating your finances before separating yourself.