Have you ever met someone you hated after interacting with them for only a few minutes?
Maybe it was something they said.
An annoying habit
Their face is extremely punchy. (It is happening!)
There are people you simply don’t interact with, and that’s okay.
But if you want to avoid giving people the wrong impression, there are some things you should refrain from doing.
Here are 10 behaviors that will make people resent you almost instantly, according to psychology.
Stop giving people the ick.
1) Boycott
Psychologists point out that interrupting is disrespectful and makes the person speaking feel like their contributions don’t matter.
As a result, people who interrupt others appear selfish and rude.
They are essentially implying that what they have to say is more important than what the speaker was trying to express before being unceremoniously cut off.
Interruptions also disrupt the flow of the conversation.
You might think that joining a group at a networking event by asking out loud what everyone is talking about is a sign that you’re social and outgoing, but there’s a good chance you’ll be welcomed into the circle by being extremely silent.
Don’t be that guy.
2) Judgment
Judging others is another big no-no, according to psychology.
Even if you’re judgmental by nature, commenting on other people’s behavior negatively, especially when you don’t know them well, doesn’t work in your favor.
It makes them feel unfairly criticized and undermines their confidence.
In short, they won’t be adding you to their speed dial anytime soon.
In general, you should never take the risk of expressing your opinion about someone without understanding their context or point of view.
This applies to comments that may seem harmless to you but are deeply hurtful to others. Likes:
You are brave for wearing this, I could never wear something so colorful/revealing/obscene.
Oh, your taste in music/movies/books could use some improvement.
You’re too sensitive/I was just kidding/You need to toughen up.
I can’t believe you don’t know that, it’s basic knowledge.
Are you still living with your parents at your age?
You found the idea.
3) Being overly negative
Being a negative Nancy or Downer Dan can also push people away.
When someone constantly focuses on the negative aspects of situations, they create an environment of pessimism and frustration.
I remember I was at a housewarming party one time, and I told a friend how excited I was about an upcoming trip to Italy.
Suddenly, a woman I didn’t know jumped up and started attacking Italy as a whole, commenting on everything from the bad food (what?) to the unfriendly locals (not in my experience) to the fact that that’s just how it is, too. Popular as a travel destination and people should branch out.
Did you leave a good impression on me?
you did not.
We are naturally drawn to positivity because we want to rise, not be reminded of the world’s many indignities every 2.5 minutes.
Something to keep in mind.
4) Frequent complaining
Likewise, excessive complainers may want to change their negative ways.
Complaining may have become a favorite pastime for the majority of the population, but it creates a depressing atmosphere of dissatisfaction.
It can also be emotionally exhausting for those around you, as they are frequently exposed to your wrath.
People who complain a lot are never happy with anything.
the weather is bad. The food is not up to their standards. The event you’re attending isn’t entertaining enough.
Complain to your loved ones, but don’t bombard casual acquaintances with your constant anger.
They won’t like you as much if you do that.
5) Gossiping
Gossip sometimes brings people together.
However, more often than not, it’s toxic for everyone involved, according to psychology.
People who get involved in other people’s drama are usually dramatic, which can be off-putting.
Additionally, if someone approaches you with heated gossip, how can you be sure they won’t talk about you behind your back?
You can’t, so you’ll never be able to fully trust them.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not keen on befriending someone who trades in rumors and speculation.
6) Bragging
Bragging about your status, accomplishments, or possessions can lead to resentment because it conveys arrogance and insensitivity to the feelings of others.
It creates an imbalance in conversations, making everyone feel overwhelmed.
Not to mention the fact that a person who brags about himself is often viewed as insincere and self-serving.
They act like they crave validation, not real connection with others.
On the other hand, humility builds more respectful social connections.
Next time you feel like mentioning one of your victories, bite your tongue and highlight it to someone else.
You will get better the more you practice.
7) Lying
Lying fundamentally violates trust, the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
When someone finds out they have been lied to, they feel betrayed, disrespected, and manipulated.
According to psychology, even white lies hurt, usually more than if the speaker had told the harsh truth in the first place.
However, many people tend to lie, ironically, to impress others.
They exaggerate their accomplishments, fake their background, and claim to be friendly with people they don’t even know exist.
When this is discovered, resentment is immediate.
I won’t risk it.
8) Teasing
Teasing is intended to be playful, but mostly when it occurs between friends or in the context of flirtation.
If you harass someone you barely know, you may be met with confusion or anger.
This is because it is inappropriate to harass someone with whom you lack an established relationship.
Without a clear understanding of a person’s sensitivities and limitations, your comments can easily hit a sore spot, even unintentionally.
Cue annoyance and resentment.
Furthermore, initial interactions set the tone for the future of the relationship.
Starting a new acquaintance with harassment undermines the development of trust and respect.
Said person will likely avoid you moving forward.
9) Bullying
It should go without saying, but bullying is another behavior that makes people resent you almost immediately.
According to psychology, being exposed to social bullying is the second most common form of bullying after name-calling.
Social bullying can include any or all of the following:
Excluding someone from group activities
Mocking or ridiculing someone in front of others
Sharing private information about someone without their consent
Ignoring what someone just said in a social situation
Intentionally sabotaging someone’s relationships to get ahead
If your social tactic is to do any of the above, don’t be surprised if you’re the one who becomes marginalized.
Sooner rather than later.
10) Making offensive remarks/jokes
Making offensive remarks or jokes can also lead to immediate resentment from others because these remarks often target sensitive aspects of a person’s identity.
Such as race, gender, religion, or personal experiences.
When someone hears an offensive comment, it not only undermines their self-esteem but also indicates a lack of empathy and consideration on the part of the speaker.
Even if you don’t think anyone in your immediate surroundings will be offended, you can never be 100% sure.
Additionally, offensive statements create a hostile and uncomfortable environment where individuals feel unsafe.
This will only damage your reputation in the long run.
finalthoughts
Making a good first impression is not rocket science.
Express your interest in the person you’re talking to, smile, and don’t say anything rude within 10 seconds.
Most importantly, never exhibit the above behaviors.
Or, you know, display all of the above behaviors to keep everyone away so you never get invited to outings and eventually have enough free time to reorganize your pantry.
