A sense of self-worth is indeed an asset, but an inflated sense of self-importance and a tendency to monopolize conversations and belittle people are actually signs of narcissistic behaviors. If you want to understand the narcissist’s mind and the rationale for their confusing and crazy behavior, read to the end.

Sudden silence. Periods of no contact before the airwaves overlap with the exchange, sending and returning of text messages. Repeated invitations throughout the day to talk about something and talk about nothing, are now empty.

No morning greeting. There is no greeting. just absence. A cold, unbroken silence that extends from hours to days to weeks. What was there was denied.

What is this all about? Maybe the narcissist just wants some alone time?

Not being able to say sorry. The frustrated failure to issue an apology, it seems as if those words can’t be formed or they do manifest but something causes them to freeze so they will never find the light of day?

Denying the mistake, ignoring blame, and categorically rejecting any accountability. All you want is to hear her say it once, to say sorry, to hear that confession and to feel that there is some humanity out there after all. what is all of this? Maybe you think I would think less of her if she apologized to me?

The endless cycle of blame and accusation. The spiral of that dizzying discussion that never comes to fruition. The rotating combo of “I never said that”, “You do the same”, “You can’t keep accusing me” and so much more leaves you confused and nauseous.

Related: 4 Levels of Gaslighting: From Unconscious to Malicious

Just once, just once, can nothing be solved without this farce going around the houses? Should it always be this way? Why was nothing set at all? Why is everything buried alive? what is all of this? Maybe he just doesn’t understand me, maybe I need to be clearer about what I mean?

Broken links. absence. Promising to meet up and then failing to show up leaves you feeling upset, upset, and miserable. He promised. He promised that this would not happen again. The repeated ringing and all you receive is a notification that the mobile phone you are calling is now unavailable. where is he? did he forget

He couldn’t do it, I only spoke to him four hours earlier to remind him of the arrangements, especially after what happened last time. You miss him and you’ve been looking forward to spending the night together after a while when you couldn’t.

Surely he must have remembered? Stalking messages “Where are you?” , “are you close?” , “I’ve waited twenty minutes, where are you?” , “What’s going on, I’m worried.” what is all of this? Maybe he has to work late, is stuck on the subway or has his phone run out of charge?

Frequent adjustments to arrangements. Tears, screams, disappointments, and put forward false explanations to try to ease their discomfort.

Yeah, he said he’s going to take you out today, he must be busy with something else, so why don’t we do something instead? How can children be let down like that? They turn up without agreement and demand to see the children. He forces you into a corner in order to calm him down so the kids don’t get scared.

You fall back again and again. You always make concessions. You are always trying to explain the inexplicable more and more. Arguing about arrangements, lies about what was arranged, confusion over details. what is all of this? is he crazy? can you be?

Related: Signs Of A Toxic Marriage That Seem Normal But Are Not

Insults, insults, swear words, harsh insults and brutal comments. The vicious 3am texting, the blistering verbal attack over the phone, and the personal misrepresentation before a night out. Categorical personal remarks, swear words, label, label. So painful, so insulting, so upsetting.

What is this all about? Maybe the narcissist doesn’t love you anymore?

Chipping and changing. Last week’s steak had to be well cooked and now it should be bloody. How were you expected to know, but were you? The explosion and ensuing tantrum show that you are in charge. Red is good, now is bad. There is no vodka soda, but now he’s banging on doors and shouting because there’s no soda.

Sit there, no, be quiet, say something, leave me alone, don’t talk to me so much these days, do it like this, don’t don’t do it like that, who taught you to do that it’s cool, who taught you to do that you’re an amateur, Back and forth, push and pull, more right than wrong.

what is all of this? Maybe he can’t remember or just wants to keep changing for the sake of it? Is work pressure really hitting him these days?

Argument over nothing. The argument out of nowhere. The argument was when everything was going well. Why is she angry all the time? Nothing is ever right, but instead of discussing it civilly and being sane with each other, there should always be a fight. She can start an argument in an empty room.

They seem to thrive on creating a scene. Many days, many occasions, and many events are spoiled by her epic tantrum. what is all of this? Maybe she has anger management issues?

Surprise flower bouquet. Expensive perfume. The sudden journey to a strange and exciting place. The delicate poem is carefully written on a copper plate and placed under your pillow. Unexpected declarations of love. Incredible romance. Grand gestures. what is all of this? He must really love me.

Related: 7 Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Emotional Abuse

Accusations, challenges, fingering and ridicule. Truth demands when you tell the truth. Inquisitions and interrogations over anything and nothing. The way you answered the phone, the way you dressed, the friends you said you were visiting, the time you got home. Always questions and allegations of lies, cheating and deceit.

Every time this happens when you want to do something and he just can’t seem to realize that he’s doing all these things himself.

What is this all about? Maybe the narcissist is just possessive because he cares so much?

lies. anecdotes. concoctions. Every day a new brag that is so outrageous that she should definitely know she tells pig pie. The flagrant omission of the truth. Repeated protests that this is the truth even when she knows she is lying again.

She lies when the truth serves her best. Not being able to tell she’s lying. She seems to really believe her lies are her truth. what is all of this? Maybe she is just a liar born in the imagination?

Disappearances whenever you need help. Excuses that he has something more important when you need support. Surprisingly cold when you call and explain how you were bullied at work again. The distant, drawn-out look as you try to explain why you’re crying. Sudden lack of availability when you need help.

The fact that you have to stand up for yourself even if you are too weak to stand and feel dizzy. Disclaiming responsibility, refusing to help, turning away when injured. what is all of this? Maybe he just can’t stand the sight of blood or doesn’t know what to do when someone is sick?

The flirting, the staying out late, the drunkenness, the drugs, the gambling, the smell of perfume on his clothes, the receipts from the dance bars, the hours and hours he spent watching Internet pornography, the obsession with his video games, the sudden and mysterious excursions. what is all of this? Maybe he has an addictive personality?

Tears, supplications, begging, pleading for another chance, assurances that it won’t happen again, promises to get help, panic in his eyes, wailing from his mouth.

The neediness, the repeated requests to make things right, the long explanations involved, the repetitions of how we should be together, how good we are to each other, the promises, the future, the promises of what the future can hold for us both.

Related: 15 Effects of Being Raised by a Narcissist

What is this all about? Perhaps the narcissist is broken and you shouldn’t walk away from someone in such need?
Perhaps he struggles to express himself?

Maybe he didn’t have anyone standing up to him?

Maybe she has problems with trusting people?

Maybe it’s just disorganized?

Perhaps he struggles with being a single parent?

Maybe he can’t help how he feels?

Maybe he is indecisive?

Maybe he feels underappreciated?

Maybe he really loves you?

Maybe this is a narcissistic way of loving you?

Maybe it’s just different?

Maybe he doesn’t love you anymore?

Maybe he just can’t help but feel jealous because he really loves you?

Maybe she’s lying to make herself feel better?

Perhaps struggling with responsibility?

Maybe she’s tired?

Maybe he is lost?

Maybe she is tired?

Maybe he’s nervous?

Maybe you don’t know what you’re getting into?

Maybe you make a lot of excuses for them?

What is this all about?
control and fuel. The narcissist does all this for control and fuel!

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