No contact rule is an ideal strategy for severing ties with a narcissist. Narcissists are very capable of manipulating you back into their doormat using every possible method, and you will also go through an emotional rollercoaster after not having contact with them. But you mustn’t let these feelings take you on the road to recovery. Be firm, and don’t let any “middlemen” come your way. All this will pass.
Why Is It So Hard To Go No Contact With A Narcissist?
So, you are considering “no contact” with a narcissist. And you’re on your way to finally get your life back. But, are you ready to leave? Have you already left, or are you still trying to decide what to do?
Since you’re here, reading this information, you’ve probably already figured out that you’re in a relationship with a toxic narcissist and that you at least need to consider going the “no contact” route, if you ever want to be happy again.
But, as I suppose you know, this is a lot easier said than done, especially when the person in question is a close friend, family member, or significant other. And if I’m being honest, what you want to know is exactly what makes you want to remain a narcissist when he was horrible and abusive to you, right?
In any case, you need to know something important: it’s not your fault that you feel so drawn to your abuser. Not technically, anyway. Walking away from a narcissist is going to take more than willpower. Let me explain.
What Does It Mean To Go ‘No Contact’ With A Narcissist?
If you’re not aware of what “no-contact” means in reference to narcissistic relationships, let’s start by defining it.
The No Contact Rule, Defined
Simply put, the “no contact” rule is enacted when you end all contact with a pathological narcissist or a toxic person. This includes but is not limited to the following.
Stop making phone calls from narcissists. Block them on all social networks. Do not schedule or encourage visits with the narcissist. Stop seeing them, talking to them, or interacting with them in any way.
It’s not rocket science. So why is it so difficult to legislate and then adhere to the no-contact rule?
Toxic Love Addiction: The Main Reason Why Going No Contact is So Hard
Do you know how I wrote a book called Your Love Is My Medicine? There is a scientific basis for the title: Researchers say romantic love is an addiction. As in, it affects the brain like a drug.
Logically, you know you shouldn’t do things that are harmful to you – like drugs. And the toxic people who harm our lives – we all know we need to get away/stay away. But, unfortunately, it is not always that easy.
Romantic Love Stimulates The Same Area Of The Brain As Addiction.
According to the researchers, we are biologically predisposed to this type of behavior. Look, there’s an evolutionary spin here – losing a potential child-bearing partner would be bad for us as a species. Furthermore, humans are diligent in developing bonds with other humans – another motivation for survival. Of course, in unhealthy relationships, this leads to traumatic bonding.
Add together your biological need to bond and the need to keep your mate (or to feel great distress in the loss of them), and what do you have?
Narcissistic Abuse Leads To Dysfunction And Codependence.
It affects you like a drug, your relationship with this toxic person. And when you don’t get the sweet poison, you might miss it. A lot like a crack addict may miss his fix. When you think of it this way, you should see that you’re not the problem here.
You should see that no one but you is capable of making a difference in your life and that only you can take the steps you need to get your life back. You deserve to be happy. do not forget.
How Do You Stop Being Addicted To The Narcissist?
These researchers help us relate some pretty amazing things if you ask me. Stopping your addiction will be as complex and difficult a process as trying to stop any other addiction, plus you will release a whole new “normal” into your life by ending a relationship in the process.
It won’t be easy. But I promise you it will be worth the effort, and you will certainly not regret it when you finally live in peace and taste the freedom from the toxicity you deal with when you come into contact with the narcissist in your life.
The process may include therapy and/or working with a coach. You may choose to do it yourself. You may have a friend or family member who understands and wants to help. But if you don’t, you won’t be alone.
That’s why we created a simple and convenient way to support you and other survivors of narcissistic abuse to get support while recovering from narcissistic abuse. You can join one of our free online narcissistic abuse recovery groups and get support and advice from people who understand this.