Every relationship goes through ups and downs, and it’s normal to have disagreements with your partner. But there are certain relationship mistakes that you should avoid at all costs, or else your relationship will be over before you know it.
Not all flaws in a relationship are created equal – some things are easier to overcome than others. There are quite a few flaws – the seven deadly sins of a relationship – that are particularly deadly.
7 Deadly Relationship Sins
- Sin One: Jealousy
Perhaps the green-eyed monster is no more present than any relationship. When you love someone, you want them to love you again and when you fear they won’t, envy rears its ugly head. Of course, drama ensues.
If you’re jealous of your co-worker, you’ll do things like check their email or show up at work under pretenses (“I just wanted to bring that pencil in case you ran out!”).
In your mind, there is nothing wrong with this. If you find evidence that he and a co-worker are flirting (or worse), your suspicions come true. If you don’t find a clue, your insecurities will decrease.
But he sees your actions completely differently.
For him, jealousy is evidence that you do not trust him or respect his privacy. It also leaves him wondering when your paranoia will stop and assuming, perhaps quite accurately, that it won’t.
2 Sin Two: Judgment
A relationship is not a place for judgment, and constantly focusing on each other’s flaws will make them walk out the door instead of your arms. That’s right, even if your heart is in the right place.
You may want to improve your boyfriend and make him the “perfect guy”. But this is not your business. Your job is to love him as he is. Any attempt to change it will do more harm than good.
He’ll wonder why this relationship is making him feel so bad that it’s not enough for you. He will wonder why you are with him even. And he’ll wonder if someone is going to accept him, “bad” qualities and all.
3 Sin Three: Neediness
It is very easy to find out if you need it or not. Do you frown when your boyfriend goes out without you? Do you expect him to consistently put you ahead of his career? Are you tired when he disagrees with you?
Doing all of this – or any of it – will make him think of you in terms of a child rather than a girlfriend. He’ll feel overwhelmed and frustrated until he decides he’s ready for a mature relationship and not a girlfriend who needs to be a babysitter
4 Sin Four: Selfishness
Putting yourself first now and then is not a bad thing, but putting yourself first all the time is very harmful. If you’re the “my way or the highway” type; If you ignore your friend’s interests; If you expect Him to give you a blessing but you never do it to Him; If you’d rather look in the mirror than look into your partner’s eyes, you have a problem.
Selfishness turns the relationship into a one-way street, which will only lead to a dead end.
5 Sin Five: Cheating
Cheating on your friend is perhaps one of the deadliest sins in many ways. It can range from actually sleeping with someone else to just flirting with someone (or even engaging in an online romance). But all this is harmful.
If your friend discovers that you are unfaithful, he will classify you as an untrustworthy, mischievous liar and likely to have an STD. He’ll also believe the adage – a cheater was once always a cheater.
6 Sin Six: Being Distant
You may have a sense of fuzziness, and in small doses that can be a good thing. But ambiguity and public distance are completely different. Not that you need to be an open book, pouring your heart out at every opportunity you get, but ignoring your boyfriend and never telling him how you feel is the kind of relationship that thrives in seventh grade, not adulthood.
Too much mystery will leave your boyfriend feeling as if he is not in a real union – he will assume that you are no longer attracted to him or interested in him. And guess what? He will go look for someone.
7 Sin Seven: Control
Friends haven’t scrapped dogs – they don’t need to be in control. tell him where he can go; change his words to fit your agenda; Demand that he put you above his friends and family (at all times), and his guilt when you don’t get what you want, are all forms of emotional abuse.
The way this will make him feel is the same way you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot – it will make him feel stifled and disrespected; It will make him feel like you are the boss and he is the employee; And it will make him feel – rightly – that your relationship is so unhealthy, it’s only a matter of time until you stumble and die.