Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who isn’t excited to be with you?
There is a gray area in disconnected dating – a gray area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than another. This gray area causes real and tangible problems.
“She said she’s not interested, but she’s still flirting with me, so what should I do to get her?”
“Okay, I know she likes me, but she didn’t call me back last weekend, so what should I do?”
“He treats me well when he’s around, but he’s rarely around. What does that mean?”
Most dating advice exists to “solve” this gray area of people. Say this line. Send this to her. Call him several times. I wear it.
A lot of it becomes very analytical, to the point where some men and women spend more time analyzing behaviors than they do, you know.
Frustration with this gray area also drives many people to unnecessary manipulation, drama, and game play – like “forgetting” a sweater in place so she’ll have to call you back, or “making” him wait until he takes you to three dates before you sleep with him.
These things may seem clever, exciting, and even logical to some stuck or frustrated people. But this dating advice misses the point. If you’re in the gray area to begin with, you’ve already lost.
Let me ask again: Why would you someday be excited to be with someone who isn’t excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’d be happy to be with you later? Why make an effort to convince someone to date you when they are not making an effort to convince you?