Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? If your answer is yes, then you know how toxic, unhealthy, and emotionally draining they are. And if you find yourself falling into a pattern of narcissistic relationship every time you open your heart to someone, this article may be able to help you.
Falling into a narcissistic relationship pattern can be a devastating experience, leaving you feeling drained, anxious, and helpless. Narcissistic relationships are characterized by an imbalance of power, with one partner seeking constant validation and attention, while the other is left feeling unheard and unimportant.
Dating someone with narcissistic personality disorder can probably be one of the most traumatic things you can experience.
Before we talk about how to avoid a narcissistic relationship style, let’s get to know what a narcissistic relationship is like. Here are the main relationship styles of the narcissist.
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Signs of narcissistic relationships
These signs will help you spot patterns in narcissistic relationships, and may be able to protect yourself from toxic mind games and abusive behavior.
Love Blasting: A narcissistic partner may shower the other person with affection, gifts, and attention in the early stages of the relationship, often winning them over and making them feel special.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy for others and may not take their partner’s feelings or needs into consideration.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make their partner question their reality and perceptions.
Grandiosity: The narcissistic partner may have a high sense of self-importance and expect others to fulfill their needs and desires.
Behavioral control: The narcissistic partner may attempt to control the other person’s actions, thoughts, and emotions, often using guilt, manipulation, or intimidation.
Sensitive to Criticism: Narcissists love to criticize and put others down, but when the tables are turned, they find it difficult to digest criticism, even if it is constructive. In their eyes, they can never be wrong, and they always have a million excuses ready when it comes to deflecting blame and exposing others for their mistakes.
Emotional abuse: Narcissistic relationships often involve emotional abuse, such as name calling, belittling, or constant criticism.
Lack of accountability: Narcissists may not be willing to admit their mistakes or apologize, which can create a toxic dynamic in the relationship.
Need for Approval: The narcissist is always looking for admiration and approval and tries his best to be the center of attention all the time. The more attention and importance you attach to them, the more despondent and disqualified. This leads to you feeling emotionally exhausted from all the horrible pampering you have to do.
Isolation: Narcissists may try to isolate their partner from friends and family, causing them to feel trapped and dependent on the narcissist for support and validation.
What are the effects of a narcissistic relationship?
Whether it is a female narcissistic relationship or a male narcissistic relationship, a narcissistic relationship affects mental health and can have serious and lasting effects on an individual’s emotional health as well. So how does a narcissistic relationship style affect mental health? Let’s find out.
Low Self-Esteem: Narcissists often belittle and criticize their partners, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and low self-esteem.
Trust issues: Being in a narcissistic relationship can erode your ability to trust others, making it difficult for you to form healthy, happy, and trusting relationships in the future.
Anxiety and depression: Constant criticism and emotional abuse can lead to anxiety and depression, which can have a significant impact on your quality of life.
Guilt and Shame: Narcissistic people often use guilt and shame to control their partners, which can lead to feelings of unworthiness, stupidity, and even narcissism, which is difficult for you to overcome.
Health problems: Chronic stress and anxiety can have physical effects on your body, leading to serious health problems such as high blood pressure, digestive problems, and chronic pain.
Codependency: Narcissistic relationships often involve a power imbalance, where one partner is overly dependent on the other for validation and support. In such a case, you end up being the authorized partner.
Self-doubt: Self-manipulation and other manipulation techniques can make it difficult to trust your own perceptions, instincts, and beliefs, leading to self-doubt and confusion. Your self-confidence flips and sways from all the whipping and self-doubt.
Isolation: Narcissists may try to isolate you from your friends and family, which can lead to loneliness and a lack of emotional and mental support. In times of need, there is no one you can count on, including a narcissist.
Trauma: Emotional abuse can lead to long-term psychological trauma, which can manifest as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or other mental health conditions.
Financial problems: A narcissistic partner may drain your money and even steal from you, ultimately leaving you in a precarious and difficult financial situation.
Related Topics: 10 Signs of A Trauma Bond Relationship
How to avoid the narcissistic relationship style: 8 strategies
Here are eight ways to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
- Try to understand the signs of narcissistic behavior.
The first step to avoiding narcissistic relationships is to learn to recognize the signs of narcissistic behavior. Narcissists often display a range of manipulative tactics, such as gas lighting, love bombing, and devaluation. They may also be very controlling, have a high sense of self-importance, and lack empathy for others.
By educating yourself about the traits of narcissistic behavior, you can better identify when someone is exhibiting these patterns and avoid becoming involved in a relationship with them.
- Set and enforce strict personal boundaries.
This is one of the best and most important things you can do to avoid falling into a narcissistic relationship pattern.
Healthy boundaries are crucial in any relationship, especially when dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists are known to push boundaries and invade others’ personal space and privacy, which can be emotionally draining.
Setting and enforcing boundaries can help you protect yourself from these manipulative tactics. Be clear about what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t, and don’t be afraid to speak up when your boundaries are being crossed.
Remember that boundaries are non-negotiable, and it is essential to stick to them to maintain your emotional and mental health.
- Trust your instincts and trust yourself.
Trusting your instincts is crucial when dealing with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder.
People who fall into narcissistic relationships often ignore warning signs because they want to believe that the other person has good intentions. However, if something does not seem right, you must trust your instincts and take action to protect yourself.
Your instincts are a powerful tool for protecting yourself from harm, so don’t ignore them. If you feel uncomfortable or uncertain about someone, take a step back and reassess the situation before moving forward.
Related: 13 Signs Of A Toxic Parent
- Stop prioritizing your partner’s needs all the time while ignoring your own.
While it may be best to take on the role of caretaker when you are in a narcissistic relationship, truth be told, this is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.
The more you try to protect them and prioritize them over yourself, the more they will sink their fangs into you and deplete your energy and happiness.
You are not responsible for fixing or raising your narcissistic partner, nor is it your duty to heal them. Always putting them first will only hurt you more and will gradually make you feel like a shell of the person you are. So, put yourself first, choose yourself, make yourself happy, and let them deal with their problems.
- Learn the art of saying no.
Learning to say no is an important skill to have when dealing with narcissistic relationships. Narcissists often try to control others using guilt, shame, or other manipulative tactics, but saying no can help you set healthy boundaries and assert your needs and priorities.
Remember that saying no is not a negative thing – it is an essential tool for maintaining your well-being. Be clear and direct when saying no, and don’t feel guilty or ashamed for putting yourself first.
- Build your self-esteem and don’t compromise your integrity.
One of the reasons people fall into narcissistic relationship patterns is their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. Narcissists are often attracted to people they see as weak, as they are easy to manipulate and control.
Building your self-esteem can help protect you from falling into this trap. Start by identifying your strengths and passions, setting achievable goals, and practicing self-care. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who encourage and lift you up, and seek therapy if needed to work on your self-esteem.
Related: 5 Differences Between True Love And Toxic Love
- Pay attention to your feelings and thoughts.
When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’re constantly being told and made to feel like your feelings don’t matter, what you think doesn’t matter, and what you want doesn’t matter. Although this can be difficult, you need to pay attention to how you really feel and what you want.
The moment you start focusing on your feelings without caring what your narcissistic partner thinks, that’s when you regain your strength and regain control of them. As long as you respect yourself and listen to yourself, a narcissist will never be able to influence you.
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Breaking the cycle of narcissistic relationship patterns isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean you’ll continue to hurt yourself and spoil your happiness. It may take a great deal of effort and patience, but if you follow the tips above, you may be able to break the cycle once and for all.
Related: Why Are Empaths and Narcissists Attracted to Each Other?
