When you start dating someone new, there is a very important question to ask yourself at the end. And that is whether or not the guy you’re dating is looking for the same thing – a long-term relationship.
Because the last thing you want to do is emotionally bond with someone who isn’t into it for the long haul.
But you’re afraid to ask straightforward because you don’t want to seem desperate. So, instead, here you are looking to get to know the different signs that he wants to be with you in a serious relationship.
Don’t worry, I got you.
But before we can notice if he wants a relationship with you, we first need to find out if he’s open to a real relationship
How do you know if he wants a serious relationship?
Turns out, not many guys are dating a long-term relationship in mind. Rather, their history simply goes back to history. Annoying, I know. But this is the truth. So, more often than not, his desire to be in a committed relationship with you develops as you get to know each other better.
However, he wants to decide his desire for a serious relationship, and then you will experience one clear sign. That is, it will push the relationship forward. I preach about letting someone follow many of my blog posts because it’s one of the most important things you can do in the dating stage.
A man who longs to be with you will do everything in his power to show you. He’ll initiate contact, plan dates, and ask you to be exclusive. All signs are that he wants a serious relationship and is willing to use his masculine energy to do so.
And as I said before, I learned a lot about this dynamic in how men think. A real game changer!
In the book, Matthew Hussey, whom we all love and trust, shares exactly how men think and what they want in a woman. But the best part is that his advice is very practical and can be easily applied in your dating life right now.
Signs he doasn’t want a relationship
Now here is the thing. Of course, there are also clear signs that a man does not want a relationship. But they are usually assumptions until you ask him emphatically. Because men will play the beloved and still do not want to be with you.
Unfortunately, women are often afraid of the quite sensitive topic of commitment. Your fear of abandonment is so great that you fear any conversation about commitment will fire him.
However, when you don’t ask him about his intentions in the relationship, you risk falling into the Twilight Zone in case.
which you probably don’t want.
And honestly, you shouldn’t and can’t avoid talking about commitment forever. However, even then, there is one sure sign that always means he doesn’t want a relationship.
It keeps you at a distance. If the guy you’re dating is emotionally, physically, or mentally distant, that means he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship with you. Regardless of whether he does it consciously or unconsciously, he avoids getting too attached and thus keeps you at arm’s length.
Maybe he doesn’t talk about his life in conversations or he insists that you meet only once a week. If you feel like he’s pushing you away, it’s because he doesn’t want to get too close to and risk committee.
How long does it take a guy to decide if he wants a relationship?
Now this question is much more difficult to answer than the last two questions. If you ask different men you will get very different answers.
For some, it’s important to spend a few days together before they know if they want to commit to you. Others think they need to have sex before they can make such a big decision. Which is crazy to me. But that’s a topic for another day.
Regardless, whether or not a guy has a good excuse for why he needs more time. I think 3 months is a good time frame for you to pull the plug that hasn’t made things official yet.
Remember that indecision is a red flag in dating. So, if he doesn’t know if you’re the one for him after spending quality time together, he might not be the one for you.
10 Obvious signs he wants a serious relationship with you
- He pursues you
Before I get to this point, I would like to state that I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong with a woman reciprocating a man’s interest by calling or texting him first from time to time.
However, a woman should never be the only one to initiate all communication. Especially before the first date.
When a guy is interested in being with you, he’ll show you. You won’t have to ask yourself, “Does he want to be with me?”
You won’t have to constantly question where he is or what the state of your relationship is because his actions match his words.
Instead, you’ll feel like you have his attention as he checks in on you daily and he’s eager to keep the communication going.
- He is consistent
A strong sign that he wants to be your friend is that he is persistent. Fortunately, this point can be noticed very early in the dating stage.
Is he consistent in his communication and availability or does he intermittently send you the last-minute text “Hey what’s up” on a Friday night?
When a guy is serious about getting to know you, he’ll want to make a good impression and make sure he finds out as much about you as possible. He will take every opportunity to talk to you via text, phone, or in person.
Because he wants to be close to you.
You’ll get a text from him during his lunch break or a phone call when he’s on his way home from work.
There won’t be long periods where it’s MIA and you’re wondering if something is wrong, instead, you’ll feel invested.
- He progresses the relationship
We all know what it’s like when you’re in a situation where you feel like the time is still standing and after 3 or even 6 months of dating, you’re still casual.
This is usually the case with a guy who doesn’t want to commit and avoids the topic completely. In this case, you can try to move from situation to relationship using the steps I gave in my book, but more often than not this guy is a “type B guy” who has made up his mind and refused to commit.
This is not the case when you meet a man who knows exactly what he wants and is not afraid to go after him.
A major sign that a guy wants to be with you is that he will be willful about the relationship. He will gradually increase the amount of time he spends with you and look for opportunities to increase his involvement in your life.
Instead of just going on evening dates once a week, he’ll want to see you more frequently and for longer periods.
He’ll want to spend more time with you and go from dating to flirting quickly.
- He is willing to slow down for you
Boundaries are the best way to know a guy’s intentions for you and to know if he’s ready to commit or not.
If the guy you’re seeing respects the boundaries you’ve set and is still chasing after you, then that means he’s interested in you and wants to know if the relationship has potential.
A guy you like won’t mind meeting your requirements if it means he’s going to be with you.
He will understand that the boundaries are not to punish him but to protect himself.
- He opens up to you
This point may be the most important. Because it is a psychological sign that someone loves you.
Guys know that being in a relationship means that the woman they’re with will be all about their business. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Therefore, a guy who is not ready to date exclusively will avoid sharing weak information with you for fear of getting hurt or being rejected. It will give you superficial answers whenever you try to connect on a deeper emotional level.
But a guy who wants a committed relationship will be willing to be intimate by sharing more of himself with you.
He’ll want to invite you into his world and share the things he loves, fears, and desires with you because he wants you to be a part of that world.
- He makes plans for the two of you
The next sign he wants a relationship with you is that he’s going to make plans.
A guy who is serious about being with you will book himself into your calendar. He’ll make sure he’ll see you all week.
And he’ll do it early because he knows that if he doesn’t, you’ll probably go on a date with someone else.
He might even include you in his current plans with others if it means he’s going to spend more time with you.
So, a guy who wants to be with you will make you his first choice. He will show you his purpose through his plans.
- The relationship is peaceful
The seventh point is very important for determining whether a man is ready to be in a relationship.
Is the relationship peaceful and things flow easily? Or is the relationship characterized by drama and you feel like you’re dragging things out?
It will be difficult to deal with a man who subconsciously does not want to be in a relationship. His attitude will be negative and things will seem out of the ordinary.
While a man who is interested in you will do his best to achieve things and overcome challenges.
There will be no awkward gaps and no wonder if you are on the same page or not. But instead, you can feel and see that he cares about you.
His words and actions will align, and you will feel in your intuition that it is a good choice. Peace is the first way you know that something is good for you.
So, if you feel peace in your heart about the man you see, then he might be the one for you.
- He brings up the tough conversations
Like I mentioned at the beginning, you can’t escape from uncomfortable conversations forever. Sooner or later, you will have to bring up topics like commitment, marriage, and boundaries.
A clear sign that a guy wants a committed relationship is that he’s going to be the one to spark those tough conversations.
Instead of allowing any misunderstanding to lead to argument and resentment. It will encourage heart-to-heart conversations.
A guy who is ready to be in a relationship understands that challenges are part of it. And at the same time, they are not allowed to spoil the love.
- He is affectionate towards you
The last sign is a very clear sign that he wants a relationship. That is, your man will seek to be close to you.
From the public display of affection to taking cute pictures, to spending romantic evenings together.
He will only want you all the time. This will be shown in his behavior and affection.
Contrary to popular belief, men enjoy companionship and affection just as much as women. And they show it publicly when they meet the woman they want to be with.
So, one of the ways you can tell that he wants a relationship is through his body language.
- He makes you part of his life
Last but not least, a great sign that he wants to have a serious relationship with you is that the guy you’re dating makes you a part of his life. Meaning you are part of his routine. Maybe he calls you every day when he’s on his way home from work or invites you to join him for his weekly exercise in the park.
The difference between casual dating and a committed relationship is that you both share your lives. So, if he’s already doing it, that’s a good sign that he’s ready to be in a serious, healthy relationship.
Note that this point also implies that he is slowly introducing you to the important people in his life. Maybe he casually asks you to join a dinner with his best friends or spend happy hour with his mates.
Either way, getting to know the people he spends a lot of time with is a big sign too.
- Signs he wants a relationship but is scared
This blog post about the obvious signs that he wants a serious relationship with you, wouldn’t be complete if you let go of this very confusing but very common scenario.
You meet a guy, who comes strong and, loves you, but you can tell he’s afraid of commitment.
Right, how I hate these scenarios and feel for anyone in them. It hurts, I know! But there is a reality that you have to face with that.
If your partner has had bad experiences in previous relationships, has avoidance, or is emotionally unavailable, commitment often raises deep-seated concerns.
And if so, he would be reluctant to commit to long-term plans of any kind. Because our fears subconsciously ruin our lives. An interesting topic that I wrote about in this blog post.
However, what do you do if your man is afraid of commitment?
Honestly, I’ve reached a point where I’m suggesting you do nothing. Although it is difficult to accept, you have to let the man overcome his fears on his own. If you don’t, you risk overstepping your bounds and boundaries which will only lead to more pain.
What are the signs that he wants a relationship but is afraid of?
Well, the biggest sign is that he’s going to play a tug of war. He will approach you and send you the green light when he feels comfortable. But then, abruptly walk away when things start to get serious. This is a major sign of avoidant attachment style and highly disorientating behavior.
Good thing, I went into detail about this in a recent blog post.
I hope the above 10 clear signs that he wants a serious relationship with you will help you check out the men you meet and help you avoid investing too much in men who aren’t ready for commitment.